


Cutting Ties

by anditwasjustathought, Shujinkakusama



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: A close look into Homeworld society both pre- and post-war, Action/Adventure, All canon relationships are in background/mentioned, Angst, Background Amedot, Background Lapidot - Freeform, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Chapter Art, Corrupted Gems, Drama, F/F, Fluff, Gem Mutants, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Most canon characters play a part/are mentioned, Near Death Experiences, PTSD, Roleplay Logs, Slow Burn, War Mentions/Flashbacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-10-29 14:57:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10856343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anditwasjustathought/pseuds/anditwasjustathought, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shujinkakusama/pseuds/Shujinkakusama
Summary: The corrupt Gem that Jasper fused with managed to evade capture, causing a paradox as part of its essence stayed with her when she was poofed and bubbled. The Temple malfunctions, and with the help of Pearl Jasper barely makes it out alive. What follows is a long road to recovery, and Jasper finds she and the Crystal Gems have far more in common than anyone could have expected.Beginning takes place between "Three Gems and a Baby" and "Steven's Dream", canon is altered but adhered to until "Room for Ruby", completely canon divergent from there. VERY slow burn, but will eventually have smut.EDIT: FORMATTING FIXED FOR CHAPTER 3!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Art for this chapter by Shujinkakusama

It had been an eventful few days since the Temple started to malfunction. And, truly, an eventful few days before that. The beast that Jasper had tried to fuse with, resulting in her corruption, was running rampant through the Pacific Midwest—and trying to track it, trying to hunt and poof and bubble it, had turned into a mess like nothing any of the Crystal Gems had ever seen.

It wouldn’t poof.

Even _cracked_ it wouldn’t poof.

Garnet had sent Pearl and Steven home three days into the mission; the Temple wouldn’t open, and who-knew-what was happening inside. Pearl certainly didn’t know, as she sat back on Steven’s bed with the boy. Night had fallen and the magic that helped maintain electricity in the house was failing. They’d turned the lights off after several unexpected surges that seemed to coincide with the red and blue Gems in the Temple’s door lighting up.

Their leader assured them, repeatedly, that the mission would either go smoothly, or she and Amethyst would return home; Pearl had her doubts, but Garnet was in charge, and Steven needed rest.

_“You didn’t think to tell us that this was the beast Jasper fused with?”_

_“Well… we didn't know what it was, and…”_

_“That explains a few things,” Garnet had said, pushing up her glasses. “You two should return to the Temple.”_

_“But Garnet—“_

_“No buts, Pearl,” Garnet cut in, “Steven needs to rest if he’s going to continue. And I have a feeling you need to be at the Temple with him.”_

There was no arguing with Garnet’s feelings. Especially when Steven had already been tired. Pearl took him home to a malfunctioning Temple and a dark house, and they had spent most of the evening resting and playing cards with the aid of Pearl’s Gem’s light.

Somehow, Pearl found her thoughts circling back to Jasper, to wondering about the big quartz soldier and how she’d been taken down. She supposed the wondering was only natural; new information meant new wondering, and wondering was better than worrying.

“…Steven,” Pearl said at length, card games long forgotten, “Do you suppose…if the ocean jasper is still aware, would Jasper also be conscious inside her bubble?”

"Huh?" He blinked sleepily, then rubbed his eyes as he leaned away from where he'd been nodding off against her side to glance up at her. Being half-Gem did mean he could stay up for a few days if he really wanted to, but he still had his limits. And once they were back home, and the adrenaline from the long mission wore off, he found himself to be _unbearably_ exhausted.

Pearl's inquiry did help to rouse him rather quickly though, as the implications of what she was suggesting settled heavily in his gut. He frowned, and looked to the Temple door. "I...don't know. Bubbles are supposed to be kind of like Gem sleep, right?" He was sure that was a poor analogy, but it was as close of one as he could come up with. He knew that bubbling made a Gem lose time, and be held in some sort of... _stasis_ , but it wasn't exactly sleep. He leaned back against Pearl's side, and wrapped both his arms around one of hers. Pearl knew much more about this kind of thing than he did, so if she thought it were possible....

"I hope she's not. That would mean she's still hurting, and she was really mean and scary even when I tried to help her, but...I don't want that." He curled up more against her side and chewed at his lip. Now that the idea was there, it wouldn't get out of his head, and it disturbed him. The whole reason they bubbled Gems--as Garnet had clarified that day they were rounding up corrupt monsters in the Beta kindergarten--was so that their pain would stop. They had no idea what was going on with the Temple and the ocean jasper corruption, but if the two were related(which they very likely were), and Pearl's thoughts were right...he wanted to be able to do something about it. But what?

"Do...do you think I could talk to her? I don't know if that dreamwalking stuff works on bubbles, but...do you think it's ok to try? Can I try?" It would probably be dangerous. And if he were alone, he would have just attempted it without a thought. But Pearl was there, and she would worry about him, and he valued her input so _much_ , so it only felt right to ask her permission.

A firm _no_ tried and failed to escape her lips, and Pearl barely caught it, worrying the inside of her cheek. That _no_ came from worry, and Pearl knew better. Worry and fear weren’t the makings of a Crystal Gem, or a knight, but they were both hardwired into Pearl’s core, especially where Steven was concerned. She absentmindedly wrapped her free arm around the boy, around small shoulders that she knew could carry the world even if she didn’t think they ought to.

It was her own fault for mentioning Jasper, for putting the idea in his head, Pearl knew, but it made her wonder too. If Jasper were conscious inside her bubble, she shouldn’t be left to suffer—if she wasn’t, there’d be no danger in finding out.

“I…I don’t know,” Pearl admitted, brows furrowed. “I suppose…” she trailed off, unable to mount an argument against his concerns, and knowing that, she knew she had already lost. Dark, wide eyes confirmed her suspicions, and Pearl found—not for the first time—that it was impossible to deny Steven anything he really wanted. She hugged him closer, dropping a sigh into his curly hair. “It’s not a power Rose had, so I don’t know how it works. I wish I could join you.”

That...was _very_ surprising to hear. His powers outside of his shield were never quite the same as Rose's, but as far as he knew, everything else was still derived from a talent she'd possessed. Maybe his mother had simply never known she could do such a thing due to Gems not needing to sleep, though going her whole existence without knowing the extent of her powers was highly unlikely. Or maybe Pearl meant that his dream walking abilities were different enough from their corresponding Rose Quartz power that it was almost like an entirely new thing.

He was tempted to ask for more details on that, but now really wasn't the time. So he shook his head to snap himself out of his somewhat confused stare, and looked over to the Temple door again. Maybe it was from how tired he was, or a trick of the(nearly complete lack of) light, but he could have sworn he saw the edges glitch. Yeah, now really was not the time.

"Well...maybe you can't join me, but you can watch me!" He turned his attention back to Pearl with an optimistic smile. "Sleep, I mean. If you think it's taking too long or it looks like something's wrong, you can just wake me up."

Steven’s boundless optimism was going to get them all in trouble one day, and Pearl knew it, but her heart still soared whenever she saw the little boy smile. It was soothing in the way that Rose Quartz’s smile likely _should_ have been, but never quite stacked up to be—Steven was unlike his mother in as many ways as they were similar, and Pearl was glad for it. She smiled back without thinking, stroking his hair and leaning down to press a soft kiss to his forehead.

“Alright,” Pearl agreed, “Get yourself tucked into bed, and I’ll stay with you. We’ll bend the rules about me watching you sleep just this once.” It wasn’t a very good joke, but she tried all the same, offering a wink. “If you seem uncomfortable, I’ll wake you right away.”

Of course he still giggled a little--he almost always genuinely found jokes made by the Gems a little funny--and slipped off of the bed for a moment to trot over to the other side of the room. "Ok, just let me get MC Bear-bear. I don't think he has anything to do with it, but I do usually have him when it happens. Maybe he's good luck, you know? And I'm really going to need it for this." Of course it was more about the feeling of security that little plush toy brought to him, and he knew it. It was silly, yes, but it did genuinely help calm his nerves, and as much as he wanted to do this he was still apprehensive.

And so he returned to the bed, MC Bear-bear in hand, and stopped to return Pearl's earlier forehead kiss with a quick peck to the cheek before slipping under the covers. Then, he stopped again, still sitting upright and frowning at his lap. His voice was quiet, and unsure, almost hesitant. "What do you think I should say to her? I never tried _talking_ to Jasper before. Not like I did with Peridot or Lapis." Then he glanced to the door of the Temple again before flopping back onto the pillow. He held the bear plush tight to his chest, and his voice held a tinge of... _something_. Guilt? "Maybe that's why she didn't wanna listen, when I finally did."

“Oh, Steven…” Pearl murmured, shifting to sit next to him with her legs folded to one side. She brought her fingers up through his hair, as much trying to soothe him as she was trying to bide for time. Truth be told, she hadn’t spoken much to Jasper, either—she’d been belligerently silent on the hand ship when they were captured, and the famous quartz soldier had probably thought it was appropriate. The closest thing they had ever had to a conversation was Amethyst _pretending_ to be Jasper on the moon, and that didn’t count at all.

So she hummed with thought, closing her eyes briefly. “It’s possible,” she admitted, “But it’s also possible that she wouldn’t have listened to begin with. She lost her battle here on Earth, lost…other things, no doubt.” Bringing up Pink Diamond’s fate still rattled her, and Pearl would dance around it if she absolutely had to. Still, she didn’t want to burden Steven with his mother’s decision. “She’s old, and angry, and a seasoned warrior—she may not _want_ to listen. Not to any of us. But if you want to try…you just need to go with your heart. It’s led you right before, with Lapis and Peridot.”

"But...where do I even _start_ ? It was so _different_ with them. Lapis just wanted to not be trapped anymore and go home. Now she has a home here on Earth, and she's not stuck anywhere. Peridot just wanted to do her job and leave before the Cluster emerged, and now there's no Cluster to be scared of, and her 'job' is whatever she _wants_ it to be. They both had something I could help with, something we could give them. Jasper...I don't know what Jasper wants, besides beating Rose Quartz. Even if mom were still around, we couldn't let her have that. But she doesn't care about _anything_ else. She didn't even let me--"

He cut himself short and sat up as he was hit with a sudden realization. Eyeball had been convinced of Steven's claim that Rose had 'turned into' him not by his gemstone, not by his shield, but by his healing spit. Surely Jasper would have known of the rumors that Rose could bring her armies back from the brink of shattering too. And Lapis, when he had first healed her, had only shuddered from the cold feeling of spit being slathered onto her gem. She hadn't been surprised that it involved some kind of liquid secretion; it was the fact that Steven _had_ the ability at all that she expressed disbelief over.

However rare healing powers were, the method must have been similar for the Gems who had it. Seeing 'Rose Quartz' with a shimmering liquid in hand, reaching for her gem, _insisting_ that it would help stop the corruption before it was too late...Jasper had to have known what he was trying to do.

And she had batted him away.

"...She didn't want me to heal her," he said, clutching the toy in his hands even tighter as his expression grew more disturbed. "She knew what I was trying to do, but she didn't let me. Why...why wouldn't she want to be healed?"

There were many possible answers to that, and truth be told, all of them tasted acrid on Pearl’s tongue. She swallowed hard, listened to her adoptive son speak, and tried not to let her stomach churn with the gears in his head. The last thing she wanted to try to explain was another Gem’s thought process, especially one she didn’t know.

But Jasper wasn’t unusual in _every_ respect. She was a remarkable warrior, determined and obsessive in her pursuit of Rose Quartz alone, but she was still very much a part of her caste. Pearl sighed and curled around Steven protectively, hugging him close as though her wiry frame could protect him from reality.

“Pride, maybe,” she said at length, haltingly, finding her throat dry and unwilling to cooperate. “There were…she wouldn’t be the first, Steven. Rose offered to heal enemy soldiers often, and many of them were too proud to say yes. Too set in their ways, too angry… Remember, during the war, we were fighting Homeworld’s entire ideology.” Pearl paused to sigh, shaking her head. “I can’t speak for Jasper. I don’t know her. But she’s still fighting the old war. Owing you a life debt…owing Rose Quartz, with what she represented to Homeworld’s troops. She might’ve preferred death…or something close.”

And she couldn’t truly blame her. If Homeworld had taken her, nothing in the world could have made her allegiance waver from Rose Quartz’s cause. She would have preferred losing her form, losing her sense of self, to betraying Rose outright.

After what they’d done to Jasper’s Diamond, Pink Diamond, she couldn’t _truly_ blame her.

“You’re not your mother, Steven,” Pearl supplied quickly, “But Jasper doesn’t understand that, not yet.”

 

 

 

"But that's exactly why it doesn't make any sense! If I had healed her, if it had worked, she would have had me _right there_. She would have been back to normal and not tired from the fight, and I would have been an _inch_ in front of her. She could have attacked me, and...beaten 'Rose', and then she wouldn't have been in any kind of debt. She could have _won_. She could have..." he wilted a bit, voice small and weak. "She could have gotten closure."

So then, why didn't she go for it? The bizarreness of it all swirled around in his mind, and the events leading up to the fight that day flashed before his eyes and---

_You only want Gems after they're worthless_

_We all get exactly what we deserve_

_You suffer because it's what--_

"...What she deserves." The words barely managed to escape his throat, and he sounded shaken, horrified even. "It wasn't pride. She thought...she thinks she _deserves_ to be in pain." He felt cold all of a sudden, and wrapped the covers tightly around himself before looking up at Pearl with pleading, _desperate_ eyes. "Don't wake me up unless it looks really bad, ok? I think...I think this is going to be really hard no matter what. But I still want to try. I _have_ to."

Pearl’s pale blue eyes went impossibly wide as Steven spoke, and despite herself, despite years of practice hiding such things, she found that her hands shook at the implication that Steven might have let Jasper get that closure. She was too shaken to interject, too uncomfortable in the idea that she could have lost her—her _baby_ in a fight she wasn’t even present for. Pearl shook her head against the cold feeling that gripped her chest and threatened the stability of her form, but Steven’s words didn’t go unheard.

“Be careful,” she cautioned automatically, pressing her face into his unruly dark hair, “Just… I worry, Steven. Don’t risk yourself needlessly.”

He nodded. "I'll be careful. I don't even think I can get hurt since it's still a dream, but I'll be extra careful." He curled up properly under the covers and closed his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep. "Ok. I'm going to sleep now. And think of Jasper. Sleeping now. Gotta get...nice and tired...." He was worried at first that the past few minutes of conversation had made him _too_ alert, too awake, but it only took a moment for tiredness to begin to engulf him again. "So I can, so I can...sleep."

Steven hadn't the slightest clue what to expect after drifting off. He thought it might be extra strange, or extra disturbing. That, he was prepared for. What he didn't anticipate was that it would _hurt_.

It was more of an intense, fuzzy pressure, something between the feeling of a limb beginning to fall asleep and zipping up jeans that were a few sizes too small. But it was still uncomfortable, and he still had to struggle to keep his mind...wherever he was. Unlike in his other dream walking expeditions, he couldn't quite see. Everything was overlaid with static that waxed and waned sporadically, like a TV trying desperately to keep a signal during a storm. What little he could make out made no _sense_.

In the real world, the lights on the Temple door started to glow dimly, and if he had a way to see it, he would have noticed a pattern emerging. Each light grew brighter or dimmer at random, and the snippets he could recognize beyond the static corresponded to them. There were bits of pink, fluffy clouds, piles of junk he couldn't begin to name, rooms that shouldn't have even been able to _exist_ at the time...and then, it settled on a dark, seemingly endless void. There were soft spots of color in the distance, in hues of red and purple and white and others, that he was eventually able to identify as some approximation of bubbles. And as he pushed himself further into that void, he felt something push _back_.

He did occasionally catch more glimpses of those other rooms, as if something were shoving him through them, trying to push him out entirely. But he was determined, and continued to move forward, barely able to see where he was going but not willing to give up until he found what he was looking for.

"Jasper?" Even if she were awake and conscious, he wasn't sure she would be able to hear him, or that she would respond if she did. His voice did seem to help steer him in the right direction though. So, he continued.

" _Jasper_ ," he said a little louder, unaware that he was then mumbling out loud in his sleep as well. Much to his dismay the static grew stronger, and the more he tried to see clearly the worse it got.

"Jasper!" Eventually, he felt...something. He couldn't see anymore, but he could feel, and his hands were definitely touching something that _seemed_ like a bubble, albeit on a much larger scale. There was a voice then, one he couldn't make out, that sounded scared and confused and _angry_ , and though he couldn't begin to understand a single word he had the distinct feeling that it wanted him to _leave_.

But Steven was determined. And so, as he had been doing for the past several minutes, he pushed back, until it felt like he had a strong, steady hold on the bubble.

And then he _pulled._

_"JASPER!"_

Suddenly he was awake, having bolted upright in his bed, breathing unsteadily as he clutched at his chest. He sounded completely and utterly dejected when he spoke. "It...it didn't work. I coul--AHH!"

When he looked up he nearly fell right onto the floor. Maybe his intended plan hadn't played out, but _something_ sure did. The door to the Temple looked like the entrance to Pearl's room, though it stayed closed, and the gem symbolizing her was glowing so brightly it was almost painful to look at. Not that he was focused on the door anyway.

It was hard to tell until the static began to clear and the glitching between forms calmed down--something so big it didn't fit in the projection, something smaller but still large and mottled with unmistakable bright green patches and spikes, something that conformed to the pale, dusty blues that Pearl's holograms _always_ appeared as--but once the images began to stabilize, there was no doubt about it.

She looked exhausted, shaking and gasping while on her hands and knees, groaning and grunting every time the image glitched again. At first, when she lifted her head, her eyes flew all around the room, frantically trying to get her bearings and failing miserably.

"Where...what is-- _ugh!"_ She shuddered as the hologram glitched harshly, and finally looked forward. And when her eyes settled on him, she looked absolutely livid.

"Rose. What--" _glitch, shudder_ "--are you doing?!"

Instinct had Pearl’s arms around Steven as he bolted upright, and the only thing that prevented her from summoning a weapon—fittingly enough—was the fact that the projection of their enemy, distorted and pale and glitching, came from her Gem itself. Her eyes were impossibly wide with shock, and for what felt like the first time in eons, she was paralyzed with fear.

 _Jasper_.

But it wasn’t Jasper as she remembered her, not with green patches that she shouldn’t have even been able to generate with her projection abilities. She was essentially, functionally limited to four colors; blue, pink, white, and yellow, though she rarely used the warmer set.

Green had never been part of the palette.

Her throat and mouth were dry and she licked her lips uncomfortably. They needed Garnet for this, needed more than just Steven and _her—_ woefully unprepared, sitting ducks if Jasper were somehow able to attack in this state. Pearl didn’t even know if she _could_ , but that didn’t mitigate the fear for Steven’s safety.

“Jasper…” Pearl managed at length, voice tight, fingers curling instinctively into the fabric of Steven’s shirt.

"I-I'm not--!" He looked to Pearl with panic in his eyes, and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "What's happening?!"

Jasper _might_ have attacked, if she had the energy for it. Or if she could even manage to _move_ properly. Every time the hologram glitched she was pushed back down, and it seemed like the more she struggled to stand, the harsher the static was. Maybe she hadn't heard Pearl or Steven speak, or maybe she'd just ignored them; whatever the case, the next few moments were spent alternating between desperately scrambling to find her footing and curled in on herself while gasping for breath.

"What _is_ this?! Why--" _glitch, shudder, gasp_ "Ugh, STOP that!" She finally forced herself to her feet, but it only lasted a second before she stumbled and fell to the side. ...Sort of.

It was as if she hit a...not a wall, but some sort of... _forcefield?_ She shuddered and bounced back from what looked like the edge of the hologram, suddenly looking very confused and startled. She reached out to place her palms on the 'wall' of the hologram, and found that she had to retract them immediately when she felt a sort of mild shock.

"No...no no no," a few well-placed glitches managed to mask her growing panic, not that she would have cared if anyone saw at the moment. She reached out again, pushing, then _shoving_. "Let me _out!"_

There went any hope of thinking Jasper was comfortable in her bubble. Pearl couldn’t help thinking of Bismuth, bubbled away in the Temple, not corrupted at all and just…suspended. Pearl hoped her sleep was peaceful. Jasper, on the other hand, was riling herself up, and Pearl could feel her head throb when Jasper tried to slam her way free of the projection, which she presumed ended at the edge of her bubble…somehow.

“Jasper, stop!” Pearl said firmly, with authority she knew she didn’t have forced into her voice by desperation. Her mind raced, searching for an explanation, but she came up short. Wide blue eyes turned downward toward Steven, briefly, before flicking back to Jasper’s unsteady form. “You…we can’t. You’re corrupted.”

She looked offended at the demand, and was about to make it clear that she was _not_ going to be taking orders from a _pearl_ when another harsh glitch--this time it was of the large, entirely monstrous form, and the hologram froze on that image for a brief moment--caused her to gasp and stumble back. Not that she could stumble back all that much.

Then there was that word again. Corrupted. _Corruption_. The same thing that Smokey Quartz had whispered fearfully back in Beta before she completely lost her sense of self. Was that what this was?

"I don't care _what_ you call it," she snarled, lurching forward a single step before slipping to her knees again. "Just make it _stop!"_ She slammed a fist on the side of the 'wall', and it seemed to make the whole hologram shake. Then suddenly she had her hands over her ears, and curled in on herself to the point where her forehead almost touched the ground. The staticy glitches between the three forms became more intense, and there was a distant sort of shrieking sound, like hundreds... _thousands_...of pained, monstrous voices being temporarily disturbed from a once-peaceful slumber. On her end, it was absolutely deafening, but to Steven and Pearl it would have barely registered. "Shut up, _shut up_!"

"Is that..." Steven gulped, and his grip on Pearl tightened, half out of being protective and half because he was so _scared._ "...Is that the other Gem monsters? Th-they're not all waking up, are they?" The cacophonous roar faded away into nothing, but he wasn't sure the silence was permanent. At the very least, Jasper seemed to take her hands away from her head, albeit reluctantly.

Without thinking, Pearl gripped back, hugging Steven against herself, covering one of his ears against the noise. Steven was lucky in that he couldn’t hear it well, but whatever had Pearl’s Gem projecting Jasper across the room had some of the reverberations from her end transmitting directly into her skull. It wasn’t sound, exactly, but it _hurt_.

“They can’t wake up,” Pearl insisted, but she wasn’t entirely certain, even if she sounded it. She rubbed his back soothingly, ran short fingernails up into his hair. “The bubbles keep them suspended, Steven. They can’t wake up unless the bubbles burst.”

And with the Temple… breaking, destabilizing, whatever it was doing, who knew if that would happen? Pearl resolved to think of it later. Garnet wouldn’t have left them alone if that sort of danger were a possibility.

“Jasper, you need to calm down,” Pearl said, “We want to help you—Or at least _try_ to.”

Her eyes narrowed as she watched them speak, in more of a confused squint than an actual glare. There weren't any bubbles that she could see, and she certainly couldn't have been in one herself. Right?

By the time Pearl addressed her, the glitching fell to a minimum, and she appeared to still be recovering from that burst of noise. But those words seemed to rile her right back up, and the unsettling glitching and warping of her form became more frequent. _"You_ can't tell _me_ what to do!" She stood again, far too quickly to properly keep her balance, and stumbled to the side. Instead of recoiling from the mild shock she received from colliding with the hologram's edge, she took a step back before rushing forward with all her might.

She hadn't expected it to do anything, having just lashed out in a moment of frantic rage. So when the hologram actually gave way, actually _shifted_ a good two feet, she let out an undignified yelp of surprise and nearly dropped to her knees again.

"Wait!" Steven pried himself from Pearl's arms and moved forward on the bed, though he didn't dare venture off of it. He held his hands out in a placating gesture. "Jasper, we really do want to help you, b-but we can't if you don't relax!"

It was like some kind of pendulum effect; Pearl recoiled instinctively when Jasper ran to the edge of the projection, and pain followed in quick succession. Steven wrenched himself out of her arms before Pearl could stop him, and to her surprise, whatever was allowing all… _this_ to happen didn’t come apart. “Steven!” Pearl protested automatically, blinking against the stars that burst to life behind her eyes.

Pearl moved without thinking to follow Steven, and instinct alone had her re-angling her head to try not to move Jasper’s projection. For the most part, it seemed to work. Jasper’s image shifted and rocked as the bed sagged under Pearl’s hands and knees, but it didn’t give way.

More for her own comfort than her ward’s, Pearl put an arm around his shoulders, ready to pull him away this time if necessary. Her mind raced, thoughts dulled by the throbbing that threatened to overwhelm her Gem. She felt like she might crack from the pressure in her skull alone.

“Consider it a suggestion, Jasper,” she tried, pursing her lips in a frown. “It won’t do you any good to panic, will it?”

The little bit of re-angling made her stumble, but luckily it wasn't enough to cause her to lose her footing. Once she was stable she locked her eyes on Pearl, and nearly growled as she spoke. "I'll 'panic' as much as I _want_. I don't know what it is you're trying to do, but I'm _not_ going down without a fight!" With that she turned around and shoved at the hologram's edge again. The strain nearly made her collapse, and she gasped and shuddered in discomfort.

The movement somehow _tugged_ Pearl forward, and she couldn’t imagine how or why any of it was happening. Holograms—any holograms projected by pearls from her era—weren’t supposed to work this way. She certainly didn’t have the capacity to project someone in real time without being interfaced with Gem tech of some kind, and even then, Jasper should have been able to walk in and out of her projected field like anyone else. Again she saw stars, bringing her free hand to her temple.

"We're not trying to do anything, and we don't want to fight you! We're confused too--"

Jasper twisted around to face them again, focusing on the boy. "I'm not 'confused'!"

"--but we _really_ do wanna help--"

"I don't need your 'help'!"

"--but we can't until we figure out what's wrong with the Temple and your bubble and--"

"What?"

Steven stopped short at that, somewhat taken aback by how... _blindsided_ Jasper seemed. For a brief moment, a flicker so tiny and quick that he couldn't even begin to think of _where_ , he could have _sworn_ he saw the ghost of a look he'd seen on someone else's face long ago. After that, her expression was almost...blank.

"Y...your bubble. You're in a--"

"You have my Gem in a bubble."

"Y-yeah--"

"I'm in a bubble room."

He shot a confused, nervous glance to Pearl, then focused on Jasper again. "...Yes?"

She stared a moment longer, eyes wide, then...laughed. It was quiet, and held no humor at all, and was somehow even _more_ bitter and defeated than the one she'd given back in Beta, and when she spoke again she sounded completely and utterly done. "Well what are you waiting for?"

Another confused look to Pearl, this time with a hint of being disturbed, and he found himself shrinking back, voice small and timid. "W-what are you talking about?"

"If you're going to harvest me, just _do it!_ "

Oh. That's where he'd seen that look before. Back when he'd first freed Peridot, all those months ago. "Pearl?" He didn't look at her, couldn't get himself to move at all, and his voice trembled. "What...what does that mean?"

Harvesting. Of course Jasper came to that conclusion; it wasn’t as if it were an _unknown_ practice back on Homeworld. Still, the idea made Pearl’s stomach lurch. She clung to Steven, frowning deeply, brows furrowed.

“It’s something they do on Homeworld,” Pearl said, trying to dodge the subject as best she could. She tried to meet Jasper’s eyes instead. “We don’t do it here.” More specifically, they didn’t have the means—not that it mattered. “Jasper, you’re only in the bubble because it’s…supposed to keep you in stasis. To stop the corruption from getting worse. We’ve got no intention of harvesting anyone.”

Steven's reaction didn't just confuse her; it was completely and utterly _baffling_ , and it showed. Denying having such intentions was one thing, but he seemed to be genuinely in the dark, and it didn't make any _sense_. It was enough to leave her speechless. At least, until Pearl was done with her attempt at an alternative explanation.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid?! Why purpose could that possibly--" She tried to stand again, but the hologram glitched again, violently enough to force her back on her hands and knees. Something was different about it now; the distorted, too-big image of her full corruption stayed for a good three seconds instead of its usual barely-there blip. And though it was faint, there was an unmistakable bit of sound, some snippet of a battle miles away. When the hologram settled again she was hunched over on herself, eyes wide with something that looked like genuine panic as she looked down at her Gem. Not that she could see it with how her good hand was cupped over it. "...Stop it."

"Stop what?" He tried to pull himself away from Pearl, just a bit, but wasn't too adamant about it. As much as he did want to go over and try to help, he was still terribly frightened, and certain there wasn't even anything he could _do_. He pushed himself up against her side again when the hologram gave another violent glitch, longer this time, and the snippet of roars from the image of the full corruption was spliced with what sounded like Jasper yelling in pain. "Pearl, what's happening?!"

“I…I don’t know,” Pearl admitted haltingly, trying to will away the tremble in her fingers. She was frightened. Her head pounded like a drum. And some part of her heart went out to Jasper, sympathy she had never really held for an enemy before. Jasper was as much in the dark as they were, only this—whatever _this_ was—was affecting her directly.

Her image glitched, but in Pearl’s mind’s eye she could still see the look of panic on the warrior’s face, could still feel the rush of cold fear that flooded her frame, and she swallowed uselessly as she tried to come up with an explanation that would satiate both quartzes.

She came up short.

“Jasper…” she started uncertainly. They weren’t friends or allies, or even on any kind of positive terms, but she would need the quartz’s cooperation if they were going to get to the bottom of this. Her hands felt cold against Steven’s pajamas, and she hugged the boy a little closer. “Jasper, can you—you keep blipping out, and we…we keep seeing the corruption,” Pearl said, throat unbearably dry. “Can you see anything when that happens? Maybe we can help.” Somehow.

Thankfully the glitching calmed down just enough that she was able to understand Pearl's words, though just barely. She didn't bother looking up when she spoke, half out of exhaustion and half because she didn't want them to see just how much she was being affected by her current state. Though they probably could tell anyway--it was faint, barely noticeable, but she was definitely shaking. "Stop...acting like you _care!"_   She paused for a moment, not because of the hologram malfunctioning, but to catch her breath.

"I don't know what it is you're trying to do, but it won't work. I've got no information that's of any use to you. _I'm_ not of any use to you. You-- _hah_ _,"_ she finally looked up, ignoring Pearl and instead locking her eyes on Steven, expression manic. The image glitched again, and...were there other voices, alongside the monster's roars? "You won. Is that was this is about, Rose? You want to hear me say it?! FINE! You. _WON!"_ She slammed her fist down on the ground, and the sound _would_ have been accompanied by the room itself shaking, if it weren't for her being there only in vision. "Now stop dragging this out!"

The voices that cut through the static were easy enough to recognize—Amethyst and Garnet’s, and Pearl’s eyes went impossibly wide. If they were hearing what the ocean jasper was experiencing in the battle against the others, she couldn’t help wondering if they were seeing and hearing some of their side. Pearl clutched Steven more tightly, realizing all too late that her own breathing was shallow and panicked. That wouldn’t do. She needed to help, needed to sort this out, needed….

Jasper’s words had her seeing red, though, and Pearl’s shoulders tensed. “He’s not Rose!” she grit out against the ringing in her ears. Pearl was distantly thankful that staying impossibly still was second nature to her kind; Jasper’s image would have been flung across the house if she hadn’t had the mind to stay still. “This isn’t about—Jasper, you’ve got it all wrong! We _do_ want to help you!”

"You're only--" cue another harsh glitch, "--trying to _trick_ me! I won't fall for it!"

"She's telling the truth! We want this to stop too, honest!"

"If--" glitch, shudder, glitch, "--If that we--" nothing but static for a moment, and when it settled again she was clutching her gem again, "--were true, you wouldn't have...taken it this _far_ _!_ I know how--hnnngh." She paused not from a glitch but from the sheer amount of exhaustion and discomfort she was in. She shuddered, and actually winced when a loud bit of sound from the fight bled into the hologram without a glitch to accompany it. It was definitely Amethyst, and her words were unintelligible, but she sounded panicked. Jasper shuddered again as a mercifully brief glitch passed, and she paused to catch her breath before she spoke again. "You... _never_ wanted to 'help' me...until I was this... _thing_ . That's what you're really after. Not--ugggh--not _me_. And I am _not_ going to let you have it that easily!"

It was silly, since there had never even been any _potential_ for them to be anything better than enemies, but Steven could have sworn he felt his heart break, just a little. And not just because of the pain she was in. Because, as much as he didn't want to admit it...she kind of had a point. She was still wrong about a lot of things--ok, almost _everything_ \--but she did have a point.

"You're right."

"Huh?" That definitely caught her off-guard, and all the anger and most of the pain were gone from her face, replaced with total confusion. Another short glitch passed, but Jasper herself didn't react at all to it. She just _stared_ at him.

Steven gulped around a lump in his throat and carefully, _very_ carefully, peeled himself away from Pearl's side. He held onto one of her hands and gave it a squeeze, giving her a look that _begged_ her to trust him before he crawled to the foot of the bed. But he didn't go further than that.

"I didn't wanna help you before. Y-you seemed so scary and mean from the start, and I didn't know _why_ you were so mad or what was going through your head, and...and I didn't care. I didn't care about trying to help you, or if I even _could_ , and I never thought about how much you must have been hurting even when I saw what you were going through. And that was wrong. That was... _I_ was awful. A-and I wish I could go back and change it, but I _can't_ , and now everything is so much worse than it would have been if I had just tried to do something about it. But I didn't. And...I'm sorry."

He swallowed again, and wiped at his eyes, which at that point were blurred with tears. That only seemed to baffle Jasper even more. Honestly, she looked a little unsettled. "I'm really, _really_ sorry. And I want to prove it. So...please, let us help you. Let _me_ help you. I want to make this right."

Pearl’s eyes tracked Steven, but she stayed dutifully rooted to the spot, in part for Jasper’s benefit, in part because she was well out of her depth. Pearl swallowed around an uncomfortable knot in her throat and looked away. Helping Jasper had never been the plan before she was in a position where help was obviously needed—but the alabaster Gem hadn’t known, had never considered, that _Steven_ might blame himself.

It made sense. But in equal measure, it hurt, because she couldn’t guard him against that kind of thinking. And she knew all too well what it was like to blame oneself for things that she couldn’t control.

He was very much unlike his mother in that respect.

Pearl blinked rapidly against wetness in her own eyes. She wanted as much to blame Jasper for her predicament as she wanted to reassure Steven that no one _needed_ blaming, and both felt wrong.

When she spoke, her voice shook, and she gripped the blankets where Steven had been. “We didn’t realize anything could have gone wrong in bubbling you until we fought the beast you tried to fuse with,” she tried to explain, “We don’t know—how, or what, or why, or _any_ of what’s going wrong. The Temple won’t open, you aren’t suspended—you’re awake, Jasper, that’s never _happened_ before now. The others are trying to fight the monster, but it isn’t working, and…” her voice broke off in a shaky sigh, and Pearl looked again to Jasper. “And Steven wants to help you. No caveats. Please believe that of _him_ at least.”

A part of her wanted to keep arguing. But the longer the situation went on for, the harder it was to see any _point_ in it from their end. This was more than just not knowing what they were plotting. Maybe, just _maybe_ , they really were just as confused and frustrated and...frightened as she was.

She didn't respond right away, though. There were still too many questions, too much potential for this to still be a manipulative ploy, though she couldn't begin to fathom the purpose in one so complicated.

And wait, what was that about the Temple?

She turned around slowly--still on her hands and knees, still cringing whenever a brief glitch washed over her, still clutching at her gem whenever a wave of pain shot through it--and squinted as she focused on the Temple door. It was still stuck with the gem representing Pearl shining so brightly that it honestly hurt to look at, while the others glowed dimly but clearly visible.

For a brief moment, everything else seemed perfectly normal.

Then another glitch hit the hologram, and this time the door did too, as if the two were linked.

Between how fast it was and the way her vision was overcome with static and _nothingness_ every time the hologram wavered, she almost missed it. But there was something definitely, _seriously_ wrong with that Temple.

She turned to look at Pearl and Steven again, but before she could even think of what to say, both the hologram and the door suddenly crackled violently. It was enough to make her scream, though thankfully the static was heavy enough that her voice was almost impossible to hear. This one lasted much longer than any of the others; it was intense, it was _loud_ , and a high-pitched whine like technical feedback came from the Temple door, while a single, clear shout from the far-away battle rang through the air.

_Amethyst, don't--!_

It wasn't the runt, obviously. But it wasn't the fusion, either.

It was the sapphire.

And as if on cue, the purple gem on the Temple door brightened to an uncomfortable level before turning off completely with a loud _pop_ , like a lightbulb burning out.

Steven at that point had his hands over his ears, not that it helped much, and whipped his head to look at Pearl when Amethyst's light went dark. "W-what was that? What does that mean?!"

Without thinking, Pearl jolted forward, toward the door—and in the process practically flung Jasper’s image across the house. She stopped short, close to the edge of the bed, eyes painfully wide and round. Amethyst’s light had gone out, and Pearl looked to the warp. She should’ve been there, should have been able to keep Amethyst from harm’s reach—as much as she _tried_ to be nonchalant about it, every poof frightened her; every chance that one of the other Gems might be permanently damaged reminded her of the comrades they had lost at the end of the war, during the Final Strike. Pearl licked dry lips. Amethyst would be fine. Amethyst was always fine.

Sapphire’s voice rang in her ears, and she fought back the bubbling panic in her breast. Sapphire being at the fight meant Garnet—

They’d be fine.

They had to be.

“Amethyst will be fine,” Pearl said unconvincingly, laying a hand on Steven’s back before looking to the door again—only to see Jasper move with her line of sight, flung almost weightlessly with the projection as she moved her head. Pearl winced. “Oops…”

"But why did the light go out?!" He looked to Pearl without reacting to Jasper's image being flung around the house. His concern and genuine fear for Amethyst was so strong he honestly didn't notice it. "What does that _mean?_   W-what if she's…” he looked to Jasper then, voice more panicked by the second. "Jasper, can you--"

"She's _fine_ ," she spat out over him just before toppling onto her back. All of the movement made her dizzy, not to mention sore from being banged against the edges of the hologram so harshly. She tried to stand, but dizziness overcame her again and she flopped over with a groan, mumbling as she held her head in her hands.

"Are you sure? What are you seeing?!"

"I can't 'see' _anything!"_   She groaned again, and shakily sat up, still woozy. "But I can sense it. Only her form was destroyed, not her Gem."

Pearl couldn’t help cringing at Jasper’s predicament. The how eluded her—she couldn’t imagine how or why any of this was happening, or how a toss of her head could send Jasper across the room—but she didn’t want to think about that. She wanted to comfort Steven, she wanted—

Jasper beat her to it, and Pearl swallowed hard, letting out a breath of stale air. “See, Steven?” she said, turning worried eyes toward Jasper instead. “Thank you… for telling us, Jasper.” She hadn’t needed to do that, had no _reason_ to help either of them, but reassuring Steven was Pearl’s number one priority, even if she was afraid for the others. Amethyst poofed often, but Garnet all but never separated, and the ocean jasper shouldn’t have been able to take either of them—much less their allies together.

“Can you—can you sense anything else?” she asked hopefully, “If they need me there, I don’t know that your projection would follow, but…” But she would go, and she would bring Amethyst’s Gem back herself, help Ruby and Sapphire even if it cost her her form.

Jasper had no more helpful information, and she was about to say as much when a short but harsh glitch nearly knocked her flat on her back again. "Wha-- _AHHGH!"_

It was the longest, loudest, most intense glitch yet; a deafening static with undertones of the battle nearly shook the house, and her image cycled through its three forms so quickly that it was a completely incomprehensible blur. And it felt so overbearing, so overwhelmingly awful, that despite knowing it would be a futile effort, she threw all of her strength into pulling away.

Of course, there was nothing to pull away from. Being in the hologram meant she was a part of it, and the same went for the static and the sounds that wrapped around her still-flashing forms. But she tried anyway, acting mostly on pure instinct, and...

...And it _worked._

It was so quick a transition that she could barely make any sense of what she saw at first. But she saw something, and it sure wasn't the beach house. Instead of pushing against the wood floor, she was pushing up and away from rocky soil, and when she stumbled back she took twice as many steps as she should have been able to before finally collapsing again. She had to squint, because unlike the dim not-quite-morning where Pearl and Steven were this place was bright, and the sudden change gave her eyes no time to adjust. It was definitely outside. It was definitely the aftermath of some sort of battle. She was also, somehow, still translucent and made up of hues of blue with smatterings of vibrant green, despite there being no Pearl to project her image with.

And right before she was pulled back to the house, she saw a blur of red dart forward and grab a small, sparkling blue _something_ from in front of her before rushing away again.

Meanwhile, back at the house, Steven practically screamed when Jasper's image was replaced with the corrupt ocean jasper, looking so opaque and detailed that it almost seemed real. On instinct he tried to summon a bubble around himself and Pearl, but it just wouldn't cut through the light of the hologram, and popped before fully forming. Before he could even think of what to do next, Jasper herself was back, wide-eyed and dazed and gasping as if she'd just run a marathon.

He hadn't heard anything, hadn't seen anything, likely because of the chaos caused by the ocean jasper's image, but his stomach dropped when she whipped her head around to look at the Temple door and he followed suit.

The little blue light was out now, too.

But worse than that was when she looked back at him and Pearl with something like a grimace, and before she even opened her mouth Steven knew she was going to deliver bad news.

"She's cracked. The sapphire is cracked."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter art by Shujinkakusama!

It was like something out of a nightmare, really. Pearl felt the floor drop out from under her even though she hadn’t moved, felt air whooshing past her ears as her heart plummeted. Her fingers twitched, clenched around a handful of Steven’s pajamas, and her wide blue eyes flitted toward the door, over Jasper’s shoulder.

 

“I’m going,” Pearl said shakily, but in her numbness she did have the sense to try to be gentle in her movements as she detangled herself from Steven’s bedding. It was luck alone that she could keep her head mostly steady while she maneuvered, but it didn’t mean Jasper didn’t get jostled a bit. She made it to her feet without flinging Jasper across the house, at least. “Steven, I’ll need you to stay here—I’ll get the others back, and you can heal Sapphire, and Ruby if she needs it, and…”

 

“No!” Steven blurt out, scrambling off of the bed after her. The boy’s dark eyes were wet with tears at the thought of Pearl suffering the same fate; he remembered too vividly Garnet’s description of Pearl during the war, and if Ruby was alone out there with the ocean jasper—Steven couldn’t bring himself to think about her odds, or Pearl’s, even combined. His arms wound around her leg in an instant, bare heels digging into the floor. “I’ll go with you, I—“

 

“You’re staying!” Pearl insisted, voice shrill, and the desperation in her tone brooked no argument, even if she didn’t have the authority Garnet did. The boy flinched, and Pearl sighed, careful not to turn toward him and fling Jasper into the window—or worse, through it, somehow.

 

Long fingers tangled in his hair briefly. Pearl took a steadying breath, glancing down at her charge. “I need you to stay here, no matter what happens, where you’ll be safe. Understand?” Steven nodded, withdrawing his hands with visible reluctance. Pearl paused, closing her eyes. “I love you, Steven. I won’t let anything happen. I’ll be back in just a few minutes. I swear.”

 

It was a promise she knew would be out of her hands, but that didn’t prevent her from making it.

 

Wide blue eyes glanced toward Jasper’s form, and Pearl swallowed hard. “Sorry for the…well, turbulence.” She couldn’t think of another word for it, even as she tried to be graceful descending the staircase. Pearl made her way toward the warp, and in turn Jasper’s image drew closer, even as she tried to keep her chin up and her head steady. She reached the big crystal pad ahead of the Temple door and set foot on it.

 

Jasper had braced herself for the initial bit of movement when Pearl got off the bed, and it was far milder than she anticipated. Honestly, she almost expected Pearl to up and leap towards the warp pad from the loft, so the tiny amount of shifting barely even registered. But she still stayed alert, ready to be dragged along to the warp as Pearl and Steven headed off. Only that didn't happen. Pearl had looked to him, talked to him, and for a brief second Jasper assumed it would be a quick battle-plan discussion.

 

Instead, she outright _ordered_ him to stay. And the ensuing argument was honestly the most peculiar thing about the whole ordeal yet.

 

It didn't make a lick of sense, and was bizarre enough that she ended up staring at them with an absolutely dumbfounded expression. It was jarring to the point that despite Pearl's handy warning, she was caught off-guard as the hologram was pulled down the stairs. On the plus side, being batted around did put a stop to the very uncomfortable thoughts and realizations that had started to swarm inside her head, at least until they got to the warp. By that point she found her footing, and she managed to coordinate the last two steps with the movement of the hologram.

 

At first, nothing happened, as if they were standing on an inactive warp. When it did activate, the light was pixilated and _broken_ , like a shoddy render in a game that was falling to pieces. The effect was stagnant for a short moment, just long enough for Jasper to turn and look at Pearl, but not enough for her to react before the Temple itself started to _screech_.

 

The door blasted open with a bang, and she stumbled back as the whole house shook. It ought to have been enough to shake her off the warp pad altogether, but the half-formed cylinder of light was heavy enough that it had mass, and she bounced off it with a jolt, nearly crashing into Pearl in the process.

 

The edges of the Temple door were badly warped, like someone had pulled and pushed and grinded it as easily as if it were made of soft clay instead of sturdy, ancient stone, and it wavered and shifted towards the warp pad like it was trying to _grab_ them. She tried to get a look at what room it had even opened into, but between the maelstrom of colors flashing by and the view being somewhat obscured by the failed warp light, it was impossible to tell. The colors began to push out of the doorway, like a projection on a screen that was being warped, that was somehow _boiling,_ and the strange screeching sound increased tenfold.

 

She just barely placed her hands over her ears when everything--the warp light, the outstretched stone, the bubbling colors, and Jasper and Pearl themselves--were suddenly sucked into the Temple's maw. There, after settling on the ground with a loud _thunk,_ she pushed herself up onto her hands and knees and looked upwards and--oh. _That's_ where the screeching was coming from.

 

It was, she assumed, the Crystal Gems' bubble room. She hadn't exactly been inside many herself, but two things clued her in. First was the violet bubble hovering in the center of the room, about eye-level(for her at least), shuddering slightly as if the Temple itself were trying and failing to push it. She recognized the Gem inside as her own, and oh, wasn't _that_ a bizarre experience?

 

The second clue was up above. Far, _far_ up above. She had to squint, but she could just barely make out hundreds, possibly _thousands_ of bubbles of all different colors much too high up to reach, spinning as if trapped in a centrifuge that was running out of control. And here the screeching sound was at its loudest, because the voices--that's what they were, _voices_ \--were somehow coming from the formless gems inside.

 

Pearl was wholly unprepared for many things, and this—being pulled into the Temple like something caught in a black hole—was no exception. Her eyes were locked on Jasper as they tumbled through the tear in reality, as if the hologram itself had ensnared her, and she didn’t know whether she actually shouted the other Gem’s name or if her voice had failed her the way her legs did.

 

She didn’t get the chance to look back. She didn’t know if Steven’s scream was real or imagined, or if he’d been pulled through time and space along with them—she pitched forward to sit up, forgetting Jasper entirely, and the light from her Gem shone like a lamp, drawn toward the nearest bubble.

 

Jasper’s bubble.

 

Pearl couldn’t hope to explain what happened next. White noise flooded her ears, drowned out conscious thought, and she pushed herself upward on trembling hands, against a floor that shouldn’t have rippled like water but somehow did. Everything seemed slanted as if stretched, and Pearl blinked rapidly as her eyes tried to focus against a blinding surge of light from her Gem—

 

And like that, the light was gone; her projection had somehow _moved,_ shifted over to come from the bubble. Jasper’s Gem refracted light like a prism, but that prism shone next to her, almost perfectly projecting Jasper’s form a few feet from where she knelt. Steven was nowhere in sight, and Pearl grunted against the cacophony in her ears; somehow, it sounded like _color,_ like the chalk pigment Steven sometimes drew on the deck with being washed away by a thunderstorm. Only that color was neon and blinding and scratched at her senses, made her skin crawl.

 

“Jasper, can you move?” Pearl asked too quickly, finally getting up on unsteady legs and turning to look down at the quartz soldier. She didn’t look quite right. Her palette returned to its proper oranges and reds, but splotches of green and errant spikes still marred her form. She was too saturated, yet still transparent, too _unstable_ for her to really be there. Pearl had a horrible feeling in her gut that the screeching formless Gems weren’t helping dissipate. Her chest heaved when she drew in a useless breath, eyes wide. “I don’t think we should be here….”

 

The sight and sound of the bubbled Gems, along with the sheer _number_ of them, was enough to completely ensnare her attention until Pearl spoke. Before that, she hadn't even noticed the switch in the hologram's source. So when she turned her head to look at Pearl she actually jolted a bit, temporarily turned around at seeing that there was no light coming from her Gem at all despite Jasper still obviously being part of a projection. In response to the question she stood, and kept an eye on the bubble as she circled around it. The beam of light seemed to adjust its position as she did, though the bubble itself was suddenly perfectly still. "Looks like I can."

 

As she turned to face Pearl she felt her elbow hit something, and frowned before trying to push at the air to her side, which was met with a surprising amount of resistance. Then she scowled at the bubbled, making note of the distance between them. It was about 7 feet, which was a pittance, really, considering the size of the room and how big she was herself. "Not _much,_ apparently."

That Jasper could only move within a limited radius might have been amusing any other time, but trapped in a room that was progressively getting more warped at the edges, where the floor twisted and tried to throw Pearl into a much larger lava pit than should have been there at all, there was no room to laugh at her enemy’s short tether. Pearl swallowed hard, spreading her arms to steady herself against the floor’s onslaught against her stability, and looked to Jasper.

 

Not for the first time, she wished Rose or Garnet were there to guide her.

 

That Garnet—temporarily—didn’t exist at the moment wasn’t something she wanted to think about. The others would be fine, she told herself.

 

“We have to get out of this room,” Pearl said, chewing the inside of her cheek before taking a staggering step uphill toward Jasper’s bubble. “If you can’t move ‘much’, I’ll move your bubble for you.”

 

At least Jasper wasn’t glitching out at the moment, Pearl thought, desperate for some kind of bright side in this disaster.

 

It helped that the flood of colored sound seemed to recede, even for a moment.

 

The only saving grace about being stuck in the hologram was that the physical world didn't seem to have any effect on her. No matter how much the ground tilted and rippled, she wasn't moved at all. That didn't make it any less disturbing to see, though.

 

She didn't respond to Pearl's comments, though she definitely did hear them, and she looked away--specifically, looked _up_ \--as the other Gem made her way to her bubble. She didn't like the thought of her handling it, not really, but she honestly had no desire to hold it herself, either; it was too surreal, too _creepy,_ as it was the closest thing a Gem could get to an out-of-body experience. Instead, for the time being, her eyes locked on the dizzying swirl of bubbles still swarming above them. Her tone was...mildly unsettled, but mostly just _confused._ The more she learned during this experience, the less she actually _knew,_ and it was seriously starting to get to her.

 

"If you've got 'no intention of harvesting anyone', what are you _keeping_ all of those here for? What's the point?"

 

She’d never been a very good liar; Pearl suspected some of that came from conditioning and design, but regardless of the reason, direct questions were…tricky to avoid. More often than not, she didn’t have to. But Jasper wasn’t exactly an ally, even if she couldn’t cause trouble in her current state.

 

“They’re corrupted,” she said automatically, reaching up for the glowing purple sphere only to have the floor collapse several inches, leaving it just out of reach. Pearl yelped, flailing her arms uselessly as she came down hard on the ground with a pained cry.

 

Of course the bubble would be just as difficult as the Gem it belonged to!

 

Pearl huffed, resolutely ignoring the feeling of color pooling in her cheeks as she stared up at Jasper’s bubble—and beyond it, to the enemies and allies long lost. She rose on one knee this time, steadying herself with three points of contact on the undulating floor.

 

“They’re all beasts, like the ones you were collecting. They aren’t _safe_ in the world. It’s all we can do for them—they’ve lost their minds; they’ve lost their _forms._ We’re looking for a way to heal them, but until we find it…” She tried to push resignation from her voice, but frustration wasn’t all that far off. Somewhere in the sea of glinting bubbles, impossibly far away, were the ghosts of other Crystal Gems. When the ground surged up beneath her feet, Pearl somehow managed to stay steady this time. She caught Jasper’s bubble with more than enough forced to pop it, only to find that it was as solid as she was—and it was a miracle that she didn’t let go in surprise as the stone floor ebbed away again.

 

Wiry arms wound around the purple orb, avoiding the flickering light that shone from Jasper’s Gem, and Pearl stumbled backwards toward her.

 

That response raised many more questions for her than it answered, and it showed on her face. She watched in silence as Pearl struggled to grab the bubble, and braced herself when it was finally reached. It turned out that she hadn't needed to, though; apparently along with a somewhat larger(but still confining) range of motion, being projected from the bubble instead of Pearl's gemstone granted a significantly larger degree of stability. She squinted, her expression perplexed, and scoffed.

 

 _"Heal_ them? What purpose would that serve? Even if there were a way, you'd be wasting your energy. They'd still be considered too damaged to be worth anything to _anyone._ Why not just put them out of their misery? That would be easier for them _and_ you."

 

Pearl bristled at that, turning her head sharply to level an icy glare Jasper’s way. She had half a mind to toss the bubble into the lava pit and be done with her, but the prospect of being alone in the Temple when it was trying its level best to de-exist was somehow less appealing. Whatever was wrong with Jasper—and the corruption her comrades were fighting—was too dicey to risk the Temple’s stability in a fit of rage.

 

“Why _wouldn’t_ we want to heal them? They wouldn’t be ‘damaged’ if they were healed, obviously,” she quipped, rising to unsteady feet. Pearls didn’t have sea legs, not when they were meant to be stationary.

 

“Rose believed every life was worth protecting, no matter what,” Pearl murmured, eyes glazing briefly over, several thousand light years away. Then she shook her head as the room took to rumbling again, this time contracting rather than expanding. The bricks beneath her feet moved like a conveyer belt at its end, disappearing into nothing, and she made a hasty jump for the door. “That includes brutes like you.”

 

Jasper mirrored her glare, with the addition of gritted, partially bared teeth. It would have been easy to just ignore her words; the cacophony above had quieted down significantly, but it was still more than enough to drown out any attempts at conversation if she simply didn't focus on Pearl's voice. But she did, and every single syllable had her looking more and more livid.

 

Of course, she'd meant damaged on _principle,_ since whatever they did to bring such a horrible state of being upon themselves would have marked them--marked herself--as irredeemable failures. There was no coming back from _that_ kind of damage. And she would have focused on clarifying that, if Pearl's commentary had ended there.

 

"And look at where that got us!" She followed her to the door, though she would much rather not have. She didn't want to risk being dragged along once out of range of her bubble, though. "You Crystal Gems always want to _think_ you have the moral high ground, but you don't! Just take a look at this mess we're in! Two of your own have fallen, one is _cracked,_ and your base is crumbling apart in ways I would never believe could happen if I weren't here to see it! I can't speak for the rest of them--oof!" The room gave a particularly harsh jolt, and it was enough to actually make her stumble just a bit, and collide with the wall. "...But I know _I'd_ be much better off if they had done the _smart_ thing, and just left me in pieces in Beta. We would all be better off. But nooo," she waved her arms dramatically, which would have seemed like a silly gesture coming from her if the situation weren't so serious. "The runt _had_ to put me in a bubble out of some misguided sense of 'mercy'. Tell me, would you _honestly_ have let _me_ out, even if there were some 'cure' for this...whatever this is?! I would still be a threat to all of you. I would still fight all of you, and you would have to destroy my form again immediately! So please, explain to me, what _actual_ good could have come from keeping me in here outside of feeding your own pathetic hero complex?!"

 

Pearl didn’t truly need reminding. Tucking the bubble at her side, she hesitantly put a hand to the edge of the doorway. Rooms flickered rapidly like something on a screen, some she recognized and some that couldn’t possibly exist, not right now; the pale blue and green light that marked Opal’s room flashed before her eyes, and Pearl wondered if it were possible to jump into a room that wasn’t real without dying. Wondering cost her precious seconds, though, and she missed the chance to jump into her own room. Long fingers curled around the inside edge of the doorway, and she glared back at Jasper, feeling heat rise in her cheeks.

 

Jasper’s tirade didn’t help.

 

“Moral high ground? _Hero complex?_ You think this is about—you’re an imbecile!” she snapped, looking back at the doorway, trying to catch the timing. Rose’s room was no better, even if Steven’s safety guaranteed it would exist. An expansive, endless cloud wasteland that could manifest things without her input wasn’t her ideal escape route. “If it were up to me, Steven wouldn’t have spoken to you at all. He has more faith in you than I do.”

 

She would have responded. There were so many ways _to_ respond, so many things she wanted, _needed_ to say. But there was that name again. _Steven._

 

Not Rose.

 

She thought again to the strange exchange between them back in the house. It left a bad taste in her mouth, and a strange combination of disappointment and dread in her gut. After a long moment of simply glaring, she took it upon herself to move forward through the doorway, not caring _where_ it would end up leading.

 

And the second she set a foot over the threshold, the edges of the doorway warped, and she was practically _pulled_ into a large room filled with piles and piles of junk.

 

One of which she was slammed right into, causing it to fall over and spill its contents _everywhere._ She sat up with a grumble, and shook her head. "What is _wrong_ with this stupid Temple?!"

 

Pearl fell with her, dragged by an unseen force that left her limbs cold and tingly. She clung to the bubble in her arms lest they be separated, and wound up upside down, on her back, in one of Amethyst’s many piles.

 

At least it wasn’t a weapon pile.

 

Furniture wasn’t much of an improvement, really.

 

She let out a groan of displeasure, righting herself without bothering to hide her frustration. “You!” She spat, “You are what’s wrong with the Temple, Jasper! _None_ of this would have happened if _you_ hadn’t fused with a corrupted beast!”

 

Jasper stood, dislodging several pieces of junk in the process. She actually had to shake her hair out a bit to free it of a few pieces of debris; she wasn't sure if it was from being projected from the bubble or from being inside the Temple, or perhaps something else entirely, but in any case, she was slightly more solid here.

 

"I wouldn't have needed to stoop that low if your forces didn't _insist_ on utilizing fusion in _every_ battle! It's as if none of you know how to fight on your own!"

 

Pearl growled under her breath. Of all things—she knew she shouldn’t rise to the bait, but it was nigh impossible not to. Millennia ago she’d killed for less. Her free hand clenched at her side, nails biting into her palm. It didn’t have to be an insult entirely directed at her; Garnet’s honor was more important, _fusion_ was sacred in ways she couldn’t possibly explain in a concise manner.

 

“Fusion is a perfectly viable battle tactic, if you know how to use it, which _you_ obviously don’t,” Pearl said in a hiss, jabbing a finger at the bigger Gem. “And _I_ wouldn’t need fusion to fight you.”

 

She made an indignant expression when Pearl jabbed at her, but didn't move, instead opting to lean in and loom over her as she rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Don't make me laugh. You hardly even _tried_ to fight me in any of our encounters. Our very first altercation ended in your surrender! You wouldn't last a _second_ against me, and you're obviously aware of it."

 

Their first encounter—with the hand ship—Pearl hadn’t exactly been in a position to do much else. With Garnet’s body destroyed and Steven unconscious and in the enemy’s hands, there hadn’t been time for heroics. Amethyst had rushed in with recklessness that came from never having fought in war, and truth be told, Pearl hadn’t been thinking much more clearly.

 

But surrender had guaranteed survival; Jasper had agreed to it readily enough in her haste to report back to Yellow Diamond. Surrender had spared Beach City from a firefight with a modern Gem ship.

 

Tactically, it had been the best option, even if it seemed like a coward’s choice in retrospect.

 

Pearl stared at her for a long moment, then smiled far too sweetly. Her eyes were like ice. “Believe what you want to,” she said cheerily, turning away and making her way into the depths of Amethyst’s room, perfectly content to let Jasper flounder along behind her. “Mind the puddles, you might fall into a room I can’t get you out of.”

 

 

 

While she hadn't been actively _trying_ to rile her up, the lack of an intense response was absolutely _infuriating._ Jasper stared after her in stunned, offended silence up until she felt a push from behind as Pearl and by extension her bubble went too far ahead. She grunted in surprise and finally began to walk, and between her hastiness and the length of her strides she was soon too far in _front_ of Pearl, resulting in her crashing with the edge of the hologram and stumbling back a step.

 

"Could you walk a bit faster?!" She snarled without looking back at her. She waited a moment to let Pearl catch up before walking ahead again.

 

A few moments later she stopped dead in her tracks.

 

Something caught her eye. If she hadn't been hanging her head so low, she might have missed it.

 

It was a painting, somewhat silly in subject, overdramatic with the Crystal Gems in ridiculous-looking clothes and a shark being punched into the air. But those details weren't what had made her pause.

 

It was Rose.

 

Jasper found herself staring, unable to look away despite the churning in her gut the image caused. At that point it was much more than an inkling, but she still couldn't help but cling desperately to stubborn, determined denial. She almost didn't want to know. But there would be no reason for Pearl to lie now, and Jasper found she couldn't help herself.

 

Her expression was... _sullen,_ in a weird sort of way, her voice suddenly devoid of all of the biting anger it had held up until that point. "...It really isn't her out there, is it?"

 

Pearl complied without a thought, but keeping time with Jasper wasn’t easy when the massive Gem insisted on walking as quickly as her absurdly long legs would carry her. Pearl couldn’t keep up with her mind elsewhere, even if matching someone else’s stride was an ingrained trait. It took thought to match a stranger’s pace; matched rhythm in dance required at least being on the same page.

 

Jasper stopped short, and Pearl nearly walked into her. It was luck alone that she didn’t get a mouth full of absurdly wild hair (still too saturated, too _yellow;_ her image wasn’t quite right, and being in Amethyst’s wisteria-tinted room didn’t make it any less noticeable.

 

Pearl looked up, saw the strange look on her enemy’s face, and followed her line of sight.

 

The painting.

 

_Rose…_

 

The alabaster Gem was silent for a moment, shifting Jasper’s bubble to hold it against her stomach. It was almost comforting, except that being around Jasper _herself_ wasn’t a comfort. “Steven’s her son,” she said softly, “He inherited her powers and Gem, but he isn’t...he’s very, very human.” She paused, but briefly, and peeked up at Jasper through the fringe of her bangs. “Rose is gone.”

 

Her sullen look turned into a hard frown as Pearl spoke, brows furrowed, and she didn't even blink as she focused on the painted image of Rose. The feel of her words sinking it almost _hurt._ She didn't want it to be true. It _couldn't_ be true. But really, what other explanation was there? If she thought back to their encounters since her return to Earth, if she applied the idea that it was some oblivious third party who only had a rose quartz Gem but wasn't _the_ Rose Quartz, so many things suddenly made _sense._

 

She wouldn't pretend to understand what Pearl meant by _son_ or _inherited her Gem_ or that he was somehow still _very human,_ and honestly, she didn't have the energy to care about any of that. In that moment, only one thing mattered. Rose Quartz, the one who had ensured that Jasper's life was in shambles before she even first formed, the one who destroyed everything she had before she could even _have_ it, was gone. And despite all her anger, despite her overwhelming sense of unfinished business, despite all her determination to finally, _finally_ get to face her, she had never once managed to confront her.

 

She hung her head low, eyes closed, hands balled into trembling fists, and spoke in such a low tone that it was almost hard to make out her words. "How long? How many years did I miss her by?"

 

Pearl watched her for long moments, and somehow—Pearl couldn’t begin to explain why—something clicked, something about her tone _hurt_ much the way her confusion in the beach house had touched her heart. Maybe it was the topic. Maybe it was the resigned weight in her shoulders, the way her head hung.

 

For a moment, Pearl could see Amethyst in Jasper, in her squared shoulders and balled fists. Some of her frustration ebbed when she sighed, and she looked away. “Fourteen years,” she murmured, “And a few months.”

 

Her head snapped up at that, and she stared at Pearl, eyes wide with shock. It would have been one thing if the number were in the thousands, or at least the low hundreds. Even _one_ hundred would have been much easier to stomach. But fourteen? To a Gem, that was _nothing._ That was barely a blip on the radar. Especially for one as old as Jasper.

 

She had been close. She had been so, so _close._

 

"That's it?" She barely registered the words coming out of her own mouth. It was like someone else was saying them, like she was _watching_ the conversation instead of partaking in it. Then, after a brief pause, something in her _snapped._

 

"That's... _hah."_ One corner of her mouth twitched. "You...you're joking, right? You have GOT to be--HAH!"

 

She then broke out into a grin, and began to _laugh._ It wasn't bitter. It wasn't manic. But given the circumstances it was definitely disturbing, because it seemed so _genuine._ To an outsider, it could easily be assumed that Pearl had finished telling a hilarious joke, or that some sort of incident had occurred that actually warranted the kind of roaring cackles that had her hunched over with her hands on her knees. She actually seemed _giddy._

 

The laughter startled her, and Pearl stared, wide-eyed for several moments. Jasper’s laughter sounded completely out of place, wasn’t appropriate in any way, and she clutched the bubble in her arms just that much tighter. She didn’t sound _unhinged,_ exactly, but she sounded…wrong.

 

“I-I’m not joking,” Pearl protested, though she wished she were, for Jasper’s sake, and what a strange shift that was. “Steven’s only fourteen years old.”

 

She forced herself to pause as Pearl responded, shoulders still shaking as laughter strained against her chest and mouth, having to bite down hard on her lip to manage at all. When Pearl was done she doubled over again, clutching her stomach as more eerily jovial laughter bubbled up from inside her. "No, you--you don't, _pffffhahaha,_ you don't _understand!_ I didn't--ahaha--I didn't even want to _come_ on this stupid mission until I heard Rose Quartz might still be alive! Peridot had to _beg_ me to take the assignment! And not only, not ONLY am I too late, I only missed her by, by---oh, sun moon and stars!"

 

It was an old saying, one coined by Earth-made quartzes in the early days of Earth's attempted colonization. It was a play on the original, still-used, much simpler _stars,_ and it was all but forgotten these days, what with it never having had the chance to catch on to other Gem types and Jasper being the only Earth quartz _from_ that era. She usually made the effort to _avoid_ using it. But she didn't have a filter anymore, was too completely and utterly unhinged to put in the effort.

 

Still laughing, though thankfully not quite as hard, she took a shaky step back, then another, and all but collapsed into a sitting position against one of the smaller piles of junk. "...So this is how it ends. I came all this way, and _this_ is how it ends. I couldn't even _lose_ to her. I--" she let out another loud but short burst of laughter, "--I couldn't even lose to the right Gem! I _failed_ at FAILING!" That last word was roared so loudly she could feel a scratch in her throat, and she banged a fist on the ground next to her. For a moment she was quiet, almost _calm._ Then she smiled again, just a bit, tired and shaky and clearly manic this time.

 

"You want to know something funny?" She glanced up at Pearl without tilting her head, and let out a snort of a chuckle before the smile broke into an outright grin. She didn't know why she was being so talkative. Honestly, she was saying things that she wouldn't have said to her _friends,_ not that she considered herself to have any. Maybe it was because of how hopeless the situation seemed. If they were both as good as dead, why hold back? "Back on Homeworld, some of them--other soldiers, a few superiors--they would call me the _Ultimate Quartz._ Can you believe that?! Thousands of years without getting _one_ thing right, and they...heh, more like the ultimate _failure,_ am I right?!"

 

She started to laugh again, and it grew to just below the threshold of cackling before the sound and her expression changed altogether. It was relatively quiet, and she did put in the effort to stifle it despite it not being very intense to start with, but what was happening was still unmistakable. Instead of laughing, Jasper, who always said she would never be so weak, who many thought was _incapable_ of getting to that point at all, curled over with her head in her hands and began to cry.

 

The breakdown had to have been a long time coming, but that hardly meant that Pearl was prepared to be on the receiving end. She stared dumbly, mouth slightly slack, until her lips and throat were dry and her hands were shaking around Jasper’s bubble. She clung to it like a lifeline, a buoy at sea, and said nothing for long moments.

 

Jasper was crying, and Pearl didn’t know what to make of that. She couldn’t imagine—Jasper’s words sounded like they belonged to someone else, or perhaps that they should have been _directed_ at someone else. Not Pearl. No the once-terrifying Renegade. Never her, not when they were enemies.

 

But it was hard to see an enemy in the massive Gem before her. Pearl sank down next to her with some uncertainty, leaving an arm’s length between them, and set her bubble in her lap. Her heart and mind raced. She didn’t know what to say, what to do—comfort wasn’t an option, not with the tension between them. She couldn’t offer Jasper anything.

 

“I…” Pearl started, feeling her chest clench at the sound of Jasper’s ragged breathing. This close, it was impossible to miss. She looked away, finally, down at the ground. “I don’t think you’re a failure. I suppose—well, technically, yes, if fighting Rose was your objective…”

 

Her words couldn’t possibly be helping. She paused to swallow dry air.

 

“The stories about you aren’t… I don’t know many. We don’t get gossip here. But you’re an astounding opponent,” she murmured, voice small. “If there _is_ such a thing as an ultimate Gem of her kind…I could see it. In you.”

 

She moved one hand just enough to peek out at Pearl when she started to speak, unable to help but be curious at first. Pearl's little slip-up in her attempt to brand her _not_ a failure had that curiosity replaced with a scathing, offended glare, and she turned her head away before curling up around herself, arms hugging her knees tight to her chest. If she had the energy--and if she didn't honestly think that slip-up was more a simple statement of truth--she might have snapped at her, made _some_ sort of biting remark. Instead she let out a huff of air that barely counted as a scoff.

 

As Pearl continued to speak, she stayed silent, refusing to give any indication that she was listening at all. It didn't surprise her that she had heard the stories; after all, one couldn't really reach legendary status if only _one_ side of a conflict had anything impressive to say. It wasn't until those last two pieces-- _I could see it, in you_ \--that she lifted her head and whipped it around to fix her with a surprised and somewhat _uncomfortable_ look.

 

It would be a lie to say it didn't feel nice to hear such accolades from her own comrades, even if she never quite felt that she deserved it, even if it almost felt _wrong_ inside. But from an enemy, even one who had heard of her skill on the battlefield, her mind could only manage to latch on to the _strangeness_ of it. She stared for a long, extremely awkward moment before the tenseness that came with her surprise melted away and her shoulders slumped. She looked away, just enough to stare straight ahead, focused on the painting again. "I don't need your _pity",_ she grumbled, and sank her head further into the little nest that her arms and knees made, just her eyes peeking over them. "I'm fully aware of my real worth. I'm not some super soldier. I'm just a big _mistake."_

 

Of course she’d said the wrong thing, somehow. Pearl could have kicked herself. She frowned deeply, ready to defend her statement—

 

_I’m just a big mistake._

 

Pearl froze at that, stared long and hard at Jasper for moments. Curled up, she was still far too big, but she could see Amethyst in her hunched shoulders and unruly hair.

 

“You’re not,” Pearl said quickly, perhaps _too_ quickly. Too readily. But the resignation in Jasper’s voice cut her to the core and sounded so familiar that she couldn’t help speaking out. She reached uncertainly for the bigger Gem, but stopped short, turning instead to stare down at Jasper’s Gem inside the purple orb in her lap. She dropped her hand to the bubble—one of the few Amethyst had made in the last fourteen years—and curled around it. “Every Gem is made with a purpose, but she can always rise beyond that. I… _look_ at you, Jasper. You’re…I’ve seen your exit hole. It’s not pity.” She paused uncomfortably, unable to look at Jasper directly; instead she stared down at her Gem in the bubble, at the tiny stone that housed so much power. “Garnet said fighting you was like fighting at least three quartzes. And I believe her. I…I’ve only fought you through Alexandrite, but even that. We’ve never had so much trouble. You’re not an easy opponent.”

 

Of all the possible ways Pearl could have responded, she certainly never would have expected _that._ From the very first words she found herself staring, and was so taken aback that she didn't even react when she almost reached out, while normally such a gesture would have caused her to recoil or bat the oncoming hand away. For a long time after Pearl was done--several moments that must have added up to close to half a minute--she was completely silent, mouth slightly agape, eyes somewhat wide with surprise but brows furrowed. She knew she ought to say something to that. But _what?_ How could she even _begin_ to respond to an enemy suddenly showing genuine concern for her and seeming to try to lift her spirits?

 

Luckily, the silence was interrupted before it had a chance to become too awkward. It would have been nice if said interruption weren't the distant, pained roar of bubbled Gems, though.

 

She looked over to where the entrance from the bubble room had been, half expecting to see it open again. It wasn't. But the sound had been unmistakable, and surely must have meant that the brief period of calm from the Temple was over. Barely a moment later she winced slightly and put a hand to her gemstone as a slight tingle came over it. She hadn't glitched, and neither had anything else around them, but the situation was clearly about to get worse. The distant roar sounded again, and there was a slight, almost imperceptible tremble in the ground, made more noticeable by the sound of piles of junk settling and shifting from the movement.

 

"The Temple isn't going to let me leave. I'm tethered to this place now. I can feel it." She gave Pearl a weary glance, all surprise now replaced with tired resignation. She then reached out with one hand, palm-up. "Give me the bubble. You should get out while you still can."

 

The distant rumble made Pearl freeze. It wasn’t exactly that she’d forgotten that the Temple was hostile territory at the moment—but Jasper’s emotional wellbeing took precedence, which was something she had never considered would cross her mind. She frowned, clutching the bubble more tightly for a moment, then shook her head.

 

“I can’t leave you here alone,” she insisted, “There has to be _some_ way to get you out. Besides, I—what happens to you if I go? Won’t you just disappear into the bubble again?”

 

Worse, what if that roar meant other beasts were loose—they would surely seek out the only other Gem in the Temple. Pearl’s brows furrowed, and she stood unsteadily. “Come with me,” Pearl blurt out, “We’ll find a way out, we’ll find out _why_ it’s doing this.” She paused, then gently put the bubble in Jasper’s outstretched palm. “It may not let me back in if I _do_ get out.”

 

“Why?" Her voice held no suspicion or bite like her questions usually did. Instead the tone was flat and calm, as would be used in far more mundane, everyday circumstances. She closed her hand lightly around the bubble and drew it close, glancing downward at it for a moment before looking back up to her. "What's the point in getting me out? I'm still that... _thing,"_ she said with an edge of disgust, and looked down at the bubble in her hand again. It was strange, unnerving, really, to be looking at her own Gem, detached from her body and looking so _small._

 

She swallowed around a lump in her throat. "And don't try to feed me more of that drivel about 'healing corruption.' If you were to find a way, it wouldn't serve any purpose in my case. You're not stupid enough to let me go back to Homeworld. I couldn't even if you did. There's no telling what they'd do to me now, after all of this. ...And I'm _never_ joining you."

 

She paused to squeeze, ever so slightly, at the bubble--a light gesture, but with her strength, one that should have popped it easily. It didn't. If it hadn't popped on its own with all the rough handling at this point, of _course_ it didn't. She wasn't sure why she even tried, especially after the speech she just gave. She let out a weary sigh, shoulders slumping ever so slightly.

 

"This Temple is falling apart. You shouldn't want to be inside if it crumbles before you can find a way to make it stop. You wouldn't survive it. Nothing can survive a Temple failure. Just...get out of here before it's too late for you, too."

 

Jasper wasn’t wrong, and that was the infuriating part. Everything she said made perfect sense, right up until the part where her enemy was giving Pearl the chance to live. But it was the tone, the underlying defeat in her voice, that Pearl couldn’t stomach.

 

She couldn’t leave her here.

 

Wide blue eyes watched Jasper squeeze the bubble experimentally and saw that it offered no give. She wasn’t wrong that the Temple would keep her here indefinitely, or that its collapse wasn’t something she could survive. Pearl worried her bottom lip, unsure. A part of her wanted to go.

 

“Then don’t join us,” Pearl said belatedly, “Nobody expects you to. I…it’s not logical, you’re right, but I don’t _want_ to leave you to die here.” Her mind was racing, and the din of the freed beasts was growing ever closer—or perhaps just getting _louder._ The alabaster Gem swallowed hard. “Jasper, come with me to the crystal heart. If I can’t fix things there…if it won’t let you go, I’ll try to leave. If it won’t let me, at least we tried.”

 

It seemed like whenever Jasper was sure nothing could _possibly_ make the situation even more peculiar, Pearl would go right ahead and prove her wrong. Her wanting to help at all in the first place had been strange enough, but the amount of unwavering determination she showed was something Jasper might have been surprised to see in some _allies._ Certainly never in a sworn enemy.

 

Strange as it was...it was kind of nice.

 

She might have continued to argue if she weren't so exhausted, and if she weren't so sure that Pearl simply wouldn't _accept_ any further attempts to get her to leave her there. A worryingly loud series of roars accompanied by _footsteps_ was the last straw needed to finally convince her, and she stood up, though it took a moment longer than it should have with the weariness that she felt wrapped around her.

 

"Fine," she grumbled, and it sounded more just _tired_ than anything. "You'll need an escort anyway. I'm not letting some pearl throw herself at a malfunctioning crystal heart on her own." They were still enemies, yes, but even if Pearl hadn't been trying so hard, it would have felt _wrong_ to let her run into something so dangerous alone.

 

Besides, the last time she found herself aiding an enemy pearl, she never did get to truly ensure her safety to the end of the ordeal. Maybe, just maybe, she could do it _right_ this time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> General Moldavite's Specials show up/are mentioned in some of Shujinkakusama's works, most notably "Dream a Dream" found here: http://archiveofourown.org/series/388657 They'll be expanded upon here in further chapters, but I highly recommend checking it out because Tektite is a very interesting villain!
> 
> No chapter art, may be added at a later date.

The change surprised her. Under different circumstances, she might have argued; Jasper was the one whose existence was precarious right now, not hers, and she was in a much better position to fight. Still, something about her reluctant agreement brought a smile to Pearl’s lips, and she didn’t bother with pointing out how wildly off Jasper’s assessment was.

She would find out soon enough, and Pearl had a feeling that the look on her face would be worth it.

“We’ll want weapons,” Pearl said, glancing about Amethyst’s unearthly disaster of a room for something more familiar. The painting was a good marker, but she didn’t often find swords here. “Do you think you’ve got enough mass to hold one?”

“What kind of a question is that?" She snapped, and just like that some of the usual bite was back in her voice. "Nothing that runt has stashed here could  _ ever  _ be too much for me to handle." Of course that wasn't at all what Pearl meant, and she knew it, but it was the  _ principle _ of the thing. Even in her current state, nothing Amethyst had of her own could  _ possibly _ give her trouble. She decided to prove it by grabbing the largest-looking object from the nearest pile--an old refrigerator, not that she knew what it was--which  _ did  _ manage to give her some trouble when it came to extracting it. But once that was done, she easily lifted it high above her head, and shot a triumphant smirk at Pearl. "See?  _ Easy." _

About two seconds later, though, that look changed into surprise and confusion when the fridge fell right through her and onto the ground. She stepped back and tried to pick it up again, only to have it slip through her hands a second time. The third time, she couldn't get a grip on it at  _ all. _ She let out an irritated growl and tried to kick it to vent her frustration, but her leg went right through it as if she were...well, a hologram.

"Whatever. I have the only weapon I need right  _ here." _ And with that she summoned her helmet. ...Well, tried to. Her Gem flickered briefly, and the space around her head where her helmet  _ would _ have formed did flash for a second. Then, nothing. She frowned, and tried again. And again. Then one final time, which she visibly  _ strained _ to do, but couldn't produce even the faintest glow from her Gem.

_ "Fine," _ she spat, nearly throwing her hands in the air. "We'll look for whatever passes for a weapon here. Let's hope we can find something  _ you'll _ be able to handle." She squinted as she looked around them, seeming to be carefully observing the piles she could see. Then she turned to the left and started walking. "Come on. Weapon piles are this way."

Jasper’s show of offense only confirmed Pearl’s suspicions, and she carefully swept the—luckily impenetrable —bubble up in her arms, stepping back out of the way. Sure enough, a  _ hologram  _ of Jasper certainly couldn’t wield anything as bulky as a refrigerator. The once-terrifying Renegade carefully held her tongue, watched Jasper reach the end of her rope, and for a moment considered consoling her. There was no point in it, though, and Jasper’s final remark had Pearl frowning a little. She followed quickly, doubling her normal pace to keep up with the bigger Gem’s much longer legs.

“…Of course,” Pearl murmured, looking up (and  _ up) _ toward the distant water basin in the sky that served as the floor to her own room. It flickered and trembled, and Pearl prayed absently that it wouldn’t come crashing down. With the way the Temple was behaving, it was a very frightening possibility.

But it looked stable, for the most part. Water spluttered down the usual paths into Amethyst’s room, occasionally interrupted by the same rumble they were trying to get away from. It cut through the waterfalls like a sword, stopping the flow very briefly, and Pearl trailed along close to Jasper until they reached a fairly familiar pile of weapons taken from the Strawberry Battlefield.

That Jasper knew exactly where Amethyst’s weapons pile would be struck her as strange only  _ after  _ they’d reached it.

“Amethyst has a bad habit of taking swords from my room,” Pearl said, scouring about for something that was neither a battle-axe nor bigger than her torso. “I’m sure there’s a scimitar or—“

As if on cue, Pearl looked up to see something rushing down one of the water chutes. “What the—my rapier?”

She’d never seen one of her weapons just  _ fall out of the sky _ before.

Not that she couldn’t leap high enough to intercept it. She left Jasper’s bubble behind, jumping several stories up with a habitual flourish, long fingers wrapping around the familiar guard of her favorite weapon before she landed on the water.

At first, when they reached the pile, Jasper had hunched over a bit to start rummaging through it as well. But that sentence-- _ swords, _ plural, from  _ Pearl's _ room--had her standing up straight again and fixing her with an odd look. She supposed it would make sense that a pearl who was affiliated with the Crystal Gems would have her own room, and even a fair amount of her own possessions, but  _ swords, _ of all things? What use could she possibly have for them, when she wouldn't even dare come at her with the spear she summoned in their past altercations?

Before she could voice any of the questions she had, Pearl was several stories above her, twisting elegantly and effortlessly higher as she picked the falling rapier out of the air like it was  _ nothing. _ That alone had her staring wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Then, when Pearl landed, her face went from simple surprise to being absolutely  _ floored. _

She'd never seen them before. Not in person. And in this case, there was only one. But she had  _ heard _ of them, often enough and with enough detail that even from a few yards away and partially obscured by her hand, she recognized the handle  _ instantly. _ Jasper found herself opening and closing her mouth a few times like a fish out of water, and she pointed at the weapon Pearl held.

"That can't be yours." There was no accusation or anger or incredulity or  _ anything _ in her voice. She was simply too taken aback to muster anything more than a blank, flat tone.

With the familiar weight of her sword in her right hand, Pearl felt considerably more at ease, even if the Temple was falling down around them—or  _ would _ be in short order. She reached absently for her Gem and to her relief, it flickered to life, and the sword’s mate was easily summoned.

Both swords, both of  _ her _ swords, felt like a security blanket she hadn’t realized she needed.

“Hm?” Pearl turned toward Jasper, hiking an eyebrow incredulously. Jasper’s change in tone was a surprise, certainly, but the look on her face was… _ something. _ She looked briefly unguarded,  _ younger  _ somehow, and Pearl cocked her head to the side. “Why would I call it mine if it weren’t?”

When she retrieved the other sword from her Gem--completely identical,  _ definitely _ the first weapon's twin--Jasper's eyes went so wide they might have popped out of her head. In that instant, everything about Pearl seemed to change. She looked calmer, more confident, and when she looked her way, Jasper could  _ swear _ she seemed almost....

Intimidating.

It couldn't be. It simply wasn't  _ possible. _ If those swords were hers, if her current demeanor had always been hidden underneath the surface, Jasper should never have been  _ able _ to make it as far as she did. Her battle ought to have been lost the second she stepped off the hand ship all those months ago.

Yet there she was, with possibly the single most terrifying enemy she never fought just a few steps away from her.

No. It wasn't her.  _ No way. _

"But..." was all she managed to croak, sounding meek and utterly lost. Then she gave a jolt when loud footsteps echoed through the air not too far off, and a big, hulking tail slashed through and toppled a nearby pile. She scrambled to find something that she was able to keep a firm grasp on from the mound of weapons, and managed to grab a small mace.

The look of fear on Jasper’s face wasn’t one she had seen in millennia, and as she stepped back onto firm ground, Pearl almost opened her mouth to question it. Surely Jasper wasn’t only  _ now _ realizing who she was. The dozen or so pearls that had joined the rebellion were all easy enough to recognize, even if a few shared her coloration, and surely her survival had been a clue—even if that had been mostly luck.

But there was no time for clearing the air, no time to find out where that strangely tiny  _ but _ lead; there was an enemy to face.

“Grab your bubble if you want to keep any range of motion,” Pearl said automatically, and perhaps it was because she’d been found out, or perhaps it was because there was a behemoth bearing down on them, but the authority in her voice was hard to miss. Blue eyes scanned the area and she let out a low sigh. “I can cover you while we move. We’ll want to get away from the watery area and hope it can’t fly once we’re in an open area. The cliffs have a hidden stair—”

The beast roared, and Pearl stood a little taller, listening. It sounded familiar, like the beast Opal had fought at the Heaven Beetle’s shrine.

That was… definitely a bad thing.

“On your left!”

She almost jumped when Pearl told her to grab her bubble, and scrambled to do so immediately. Normally she would  _ never _ allow herself to appear so ungraceful, especially not in front of a  _ pearl, _ but the sudden authoritative tone had taken her by such surprise that she couldn't help but be affected by it. Where was this coming from all of a sudden?

She took on a defensive stance, bubble cradled in one arm as she readied the far-too-small-for-her-size mace in her other hand. By the time the beast roared and Pearl shouted her warning, Jasper was back to being properly alert and ready for battle, enough that she reacted immediately by ducking as the creature swiped at her. It spun around, tail almost hitting her, but she managed to bat it away with the mace.

"There's another one, behind yo--OOF!" Because of course it would be far too simple if they only had to face one at a time, she noticed another creature--much smaller, but with a disturbing amount of teeth and claws--sneaking up behind Pearl. The seconds she took to warn her gave the other beast a perfect opening to swipe at her again, and that time it succeeded in throwing her into a nearby pile.

Pearl made an undignified noise deep in her throat as she turned to face her own assailant. Teeth were something she could avoid; a hidden Gem was more difficult to contend with. She didn’t know where to strike for a clean kill, to avoid the beast’s Gem, even as she easily parried sharp claws away from her with one sword.

But then, why did it matter, right now?

“Jasper?!” Pearl squawked, turning to see if she was alright before focusing again on her own problem.

Lightning-quick reflexes carried her well out of its range, and Pearl dropped into a crouch, sizing it up and listening for more.

The corrupted beast came at her with a shriek, and she met it mid-lunge with one blade forward and the other thrust through roof of its mouth. It was a clean, easy strike—and the beast’s form dissipated with a burst of clouds.

Bubbling the discarded Gem took no effort, but Pearl didn’t want to take a chance sending it to the distorted boiler room. Instead she dove for the next, much bigger opponent, putting herself between it and Jasper. The beast before her looked like an amalgam of several monsters she remembered fighting, dragonesque save for the jagged beak and tar-black feathers, and that… that scared her, but Pearl didn’t want to make that known. “This one might take both of us,” Pearl warned her, swallowing hard. ”Can you draw its eye?”

The creature was waiting for Jasper as she crawled out of the pile, and she barely reacted in time to deflect a stomping foot with the mace. Between the not-quite-right hold she had on it due to her form's instability and the sheer size of the monster, the little mace  _ broke in half, _ and she had to scramble to avoid being buried under falling debris from another toppled mound of junk. The dust settled just in time for her to see Pearl finish the other monster off. A brief wave of recognition washed over her--again, not that she'd ever  _ seen _ the Renegade in action, but the technique and finesse matched up quite well with the stories she'd heard--but she had to shake it off. This was no time to let herself be distracted.

"I'll do better than that," she said with a bit of a grin, and at first ran in the opposite direction from Pearl and the beast. Even if it weren't for her current state, it was far too large and dangerous to distract with a head-on charge. Instead she opted to circle around to a junk pile a couple of rows away--well, they weren't really  _ rows, _ but she did pass a few mounds before reaching the one she'd had her eyes set on--and quickly scaled it, grabbing a few items from it before she reached its peak. The ability to think fast and improvise only paid off so much, and she ended up with an old lacrosse stick and a cracked cinder block. It may have been wiser to head back to the actual weapons pile, but that would have taken a few more seconds, and timing was  _ everything. _

She had to pause for a moment, waiting for the beast to step forward--from her perspective, to the left--towards Pearl, and didn't make her move until it hunched its back to loom over her. Once it was as a decent enough angle she put one end of the stick through the cinder block's hole and waved it in a circular motion over her head, almost giving the appearance--and sound, with the concrete grating on crumbled, rusted metal--of a toy noisemaker. It was enough to make the monster stop and glance her way, which  _ really _ wasn't what she'd wanted, but it didn't detract from her goal; when she tilted the stick to send the cinder block flying it hit right where she wanted it to on its too-long neck, the angle just enough to throw the creature off-balance and make it stumble.

She used the lacrosse stick for leverage to(very awkwardly, with the size difference) vault herself away from the mound so she could land atop its head. Then she jammed it in the one large eye it had in the middle of its face, and had every intention of pushing on the stick to help her jump away--but of course, of  _ course, _ her form chose  _ that  _ moment to falter. Her hands went through the pole, and she stumbled, then fell  _ through the monster's head _ before crashing onto the ground. Her plan had partially worked. The beast was screeching, too distracted with clawing at its own eye to attack.

Except, it was still stumbling. And Jasper was in the perfect position to get trapped under one of its feet.

Under normal circumstances, it should have destroyed her form. Instead, she could feel herself getting crushed, gasped and yelled as the pressure on her body increased. But of course, her body wasn't really there to start with. So, for the first time since they had been sucked into the Temple, she  _ glitched. _

It wasn't like the other glitches. There was no change to her form, nothing but static and pixelation that caused her voice to warp and shudder. But it was still a glitch, and this one  _ hurt, _ and with the strength of the monster above her there was nothing she could do to make it  _ stop. _

Pearl’s eyes went wide, and she watched Jasper, easily rolling out of the beast’s range to reassess her options. Her ability to make due once her mace was a non-option was… impressive, to say the least, but Pearl knew she didn’t have time for that kind of admiration. The smaller Gem watched in horror as Jasper fell clean through the beast, and her scream sounded like something out of a nightmare.

It didn’t take conscious thought to lunge, aiming for the beast’s throat this time, using both blades in tandem to slice down along the beast’s trachea. To her horror, inside were bubbled Gems, confirming her suspicions of it being a similar creature to the one Opal fought.

She had to release her sword to scoop up Jasper’s bubble. “Get ready to run!” she grit out, scrambling to reclaim her sword as she rolled again, this time to the left. To her immense relief, between the beast’s thrashing and the limited radius in which Jasper’s bubble could support her form, her momentum dragged Jasper along a few feet after her, out from under the corrupted monster.

“Are you okay?” Pearl asked in a rush, scrambling to her feet, bubble tucked under her left arm.

"I've had worse," she choked out as she struggled to get to her feet, still shaking from pain and a bit turned around from being dragged. She was still swaying when she reached out to place her hand on Pearl's left forearm, urging her stay put. "We won't be able to outrun it, we have to--" She was interrupted by a shower of bubbles that fell around them, spewing from the monster's split throat as it thrashed about. Miraculously none of them popped.

"I know how we can beat it," she shouted over a sputtering roar from the beast. It was only for a split-second, but she was sure of what she had seen as she fell. "Its gem is hidden under its ribcage on the left side, like a heart. Severing the connection with its form should be easy. I can cover you."

There wasn't any questioning whether or not Pearl  _ could _ do it. It had been difficult with the way her vision was rendered hazy and pixelated, but  _ she _ saw how easily the other Gem had sliced through the thing's trachea. It had been...well, somewhat terrifying, to be honest, and it did raise more question. But there wasn't any time to voice those questions now.

 

The slighter Gem exhaled through her nose in a frustrated huff, deflecting the rain of bubbles and keeping one eye on the beast as it thrashed  about. Of course running wasn’t Jasper’s go-to response, even when she should have been destroyed by the monster’s weight alone. She supposed the bubble protected her from poofing, which was as good as it was bad—how much damage could a Gem take if she  _ couldn’t _ dissipate her form?

Pearl shuddered at the thought. Answers to that were carefully tucked away where she never wanted to think of them again. She glanced to Jasper, to the hand on her arm, and then back up at her tentative ally.

“Hold onto your bubble and get ready to run if this  _ doesn’t _ work,” Pearl said, passing the bubble back to her before turning back to their foe.

The beast was still on its feet, though its head and neck lolled about like a fish cut down the middle, and Pearl swallowed hard. She could see the ribcage, buried beneath inky black feathers and  _ warts _ of all things, and her stomach clenched. Those warts probably contained bubbles, and those bubbles would contain monsters—

There wasn’t time to worry about popping them, though, and she dashed forward, using the unsteady terrain to slide under the blinded beast’s left wing. Jasper’s instructions rang clear in her ears, and she glanced upward for something solid, something that fit the definition of  _ ribcage _ under the circumstances. The din of the monster’s pained cries was almost impossible to think through, and instead, she thrust upward with one sword, arching inward until she was met with the familiar resistance of a Gem.

It had worked before, Pearl reasoned, and she thrust her opposite blade up as well, scissoring, and the beast crumpled on top of her with a horrific keen before it exploded in a shower of bubbles, miraculously solid. Pearl’s swords fell from her hands as she snatched its Gem, turned it over to be sure she hadn’t cracked it, and she bubbled it once more.

The silence after was deafening.

“Huh?" Jasper had taken the bubble, dumbfounded by the implication that Pearl wanted her to  _ stand by. _ Were they facing a smaller, less resilient creature, she could understand. She wasn't in very good shape to be fighting, even if she was apparently immune to form dissipation. But a thing like  _ that? _ Even if she was in tip-top shape she would have  _ balked _ at the idea of finishing it off without a little help.

But Pearl did. And it was so fast, so perfectly calculated, and executed with such  _ finesse _ that Jasper found herself glued to the spot, half because there wasn't time to jump in and half because she couldn't stop  _ staring. _

When all was said and done, that wide-eyed, slack-jawed expression was back. For a long, quiet moment, all she could do was watch as Pearl bubbled the creature's gem. Then, she threw her hands up, arms in a position that would usually be associated with a shrug, and nearly lost her grip on her bubble.

"What was  _ that?!" _

"What was  _ what?" _ Pearl asked, chest heaving as she rose to her feet properly. Her face was flushed, adrenaline coursing through her small frame. From her perspective, she had done quite well--all things considered, it had been a clean kill, even if Amethyst's room was littered with bubbles. "I struck where you told me to, Jasper, if you don't like my technique--well, you're stuck with it."

"That's just it! Your technique was  _ flawless! _ It was  _ incredible! _ I've never seen an interior gem so easily extracted. I've never seen anyone  _ fight _ like that! You...." She gulped, mouth suddenly far too dry. She'd never  _ seen _ anything like it, no, but she'd heard stories. There was no more denying it. Her voice went quiet, almost awed.

"You're the Renegade.  _ The _ Renegade."

The praise completely blindsided her, and Pearl felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment, up to her scalp. She hadn’t expected that. She hadn’t been on the receiving end of praise like that since… since the war. She glanced askance, making as if she were focusing on the enemy bubbles instead, but there was no threat there now.

“I thought it was obvious,” she said after a handful of seconds, thoroughly cowed by the praise. “You’re  _ the _ Jasper. I thought you knew from the get-go.”

She tried not to look too embarrassed at the mention of her own reputation--and oh, that's right, Pearl had been near  _ praising _ her before in an attempt to lift her spirits, and the awkwardness of that situation just  _ quadrupled _ \--and deflected with a huff while rolling her eyes. "I would have if you'd given any indication of your identity before now. Up until this point you made yourself come off as--" She stopped short with a sputter. Sure she'd been insulting Pearl nearly every chance she could before, but now that Jasper knew who she was...no, she was  _ not _ going to finish that thought under any circumstances.

After a moment she gestured to Pearl, indicating her entire self. "Not... _ this. _ Where  _ was _ all of this before now? Outside the Temple? Up north? At our ship? You could have taken  _ all _ of us in an instant back then! Why  _ didn't _ you?"

It was hard to believe that her reputation could make such an impact on a Gem still considered one of Homeworld’s greatest soldiers. Pearl half expected Jasper to finish her initial thought, to describe her for what she was; smaller, weaker, less inherently gifted than the quartz before her.

It was Pearl’s turn to look embarrassed, as blue flooded her cheeks. Truthfully, she had gone to seed on Earth, deprived of opponents that required brains over brawn, but that answer eluded her. She was still the Gem she’d been five thousand years ago when she’d earned her reputation of being  _ the _ Terrifying Renegade, just older.

_ Duller, _ she thought bitterly, but she wasn’t about to tell Jasper  _ that _ either.

“What was I  _ supposed _ to do when you’d—killed Garnet, captured Steven, had a laser-equipped ship bearing down on my base, Jasper?” she asked defensively, gesturing with her sword as if this were one of many ridiculous notions. “Lead Amethyst against you in a charge? Risk you killing Steven next? You’d  _ won, _ of course I surrendered; what if you used that—that wand on me, left my Gem behind and took the others? It made more  _ sense _ to try to find a way out from your ship.” Not that there had been anything she could do once Jasper separated her and Amethyst in the holding bay. Still, they were alive, and that had been her primary concern.

She almost,  _ almost _ took a step back when Pearl gestured with her sword. She knew that she wasn't about to use it on her, of course, but it was hard to stop some instincts from kicking in when the legendary Renegade was waving a weapon her way, even if it was done somewhat aimlessly. She managed to catch the movement halfway through, and changed it so it became her shifting on her feet as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Do you really expect me to believe such lousy excuses? I've heard first-hand accounts of you decimating dozens of soldiers in  _ seconds. _ I'm sure you could have taken on three Gems in the  _ minutes _ it took for me to attack."

There were more distant roars slowly but surely becoming closer, and she glanced around warily, unable to tell what direction it was coming from. There were so many voices that time, she wouldn't have been surprised if they were being approached from  _ all _ sides. She then looked back to Pearl with a determined sort of frown, and pointed at her as she spoke, nearly jabbing her with her finger. "I don't know  _ what _ your deal is, but this 'meek helpless pearl' charade has got to end  _ now. _ And if we make it out of here alive, I want a rematch."

“A remat—we’ve never  _ fought!” _ Pearl spluttered indignantly, knowing full well that now wasn’t the time. There might not  _ be _ a proper time, not anytime soon, but that ‘if’… That was important. It gave room for hope. The knight scowled up at her, and this time, when she gestured with her sword, it was meant to be somewhat threatening. That time Jasper  _ did _ take a big step back, nearly stumbling as she put her hands up in a defensive gesture, though the one holding her bubble was held a little closer to her body. “I don’t know what stories you’ve heard about me, and frankly, I don’t care. Even the Diamonds are shorter than their tall tales,” she snapped unthinkingly, looking away as the distant din grew louder. She lowered her sword.

The Gem Jasper expected—the Terrifying Renegade—didn’t exist, at least not now. What Jasper called excuses were as real as anything else.

Steven and the others meant more to her than her life.

Stars above, she hoped they were safe. Amethyst, at least, must have been whole; her room was too stable for any alternative. But Sapphire was another matter, and if anything had happened to Ruby…

Pearl knew not to entertain those thoughts, even as her eyes grew distant for a brief moment. She turned toward the cliff face, absently gripping familiar leather guards to ground herself.

“The corrupted Gems are either going to target us or the crystal heart, whichever they find first. Our best bet is to get to it, defend it, and try to hold position. If you can keep the beasts out, I’ll deal with the heart.”

She nearly spoke out against Pearl's words-- _ no _ one got a reputation like  _ that _ on the battlefield unless it was completely deserved--but managed to hold her tongue. It was clearly not a subject Pearl was willing to compromise her opinion over, as strange as it seemed to deny the truth. Now was certainly  _ not _ the time to provoke anger in her. They needed to be as cohesive a team as possible.

Now that,  _ that _ was a strange thought. But it was true. At that moment they were, for all intents and purposes, a  _ team. _ The most fearsome soldiers from both sides of the war for Earth were  _ working together _ . It was something she would have scoffed at, had such a situation been suggested before now. Yet there they were.

She gave a quick nod, almost wary, still somewhat on-guard from Pearl having thrust her sword at her a second time. "That sounds like a good plan. Lead the way. ...Wait," she quickly added as an afterthought, "let me find something I can hold onto." And with that she headed over to the weapons pile, carefully meandering around the bubbles that littered the floor. She had to pick some off of the pile itself when she got to it so she could properly search for something suitable, too.

"It would only be a spar," she said carefully, trying her best to sound nonchalant as she crouched down to pick through bubbles and weapons. "We would go by standard rules for a light match, with the exception on the material weapons ban on your end so you could use one of your swords. No intentional form dissipation either; I doubt either of us will have enough trust in the other for that."

A light, almost playful grin began to form on her face as she stood up and turned to face Pearl again, holding a long but thin and most importantly  _ light _ glaive in her hand. It was a good balance between something that was sturdy enough to wield against the kinds of foes they'd be facing, but easy enough to manage that her current precarious state could handle it. The tone she used then was lighthearted, almost... _ teasing. _ It was something she would usually reserve for goading fellow soldiers into a match, and didn't hold even the slightest hint of an insult. Pearl might even have recognized it as something that Crystal Gem quartz soldiers would have opened the suggestion of a good spar against an equally talented ally with. "I might even win, now that you've gone  _ soft." _

It was Jasper’s tone, more than anything, that took the tension out of Pearl’s shoulders. She didn’t mean to laugh, but the sound spilled out unbidden, and her smile was genuine. For a moment, Jasper reminded her so strongly of Bismuth that she could have cried, and she couldn’t help wondering what the two would have been like on the same side. Wondering was silly and pointless, but the mental image was hard to resist indulging in, however briefly.

Jasper’s insistence that they adhere to proper rules struck her as oddly touching, but the quartz wasn’t wrong; she didn’t trust her enough to agree to a poofing match.

“I’ve missed sparring,” she admitted, looking away from Jasper as another beast’s roar sounded. Fortunately, that sound came from behind them—where they had come from, at the very least—and Pearl nodded toward the cliffs. “Let’s go. I’ll cover you from behind unless we spot something. If you can aim low, I’ll aim high.”

Jasper almost questioned what she meant by  _ missing _ sparring, but closed her mouth and settled for simply looking confused. Asking why they didn't engage in such practices now would have involved bringing up the other Crystal Gems, which considering how little they knew about their current state was probably not the best idea.

"Good idea. I don't think I could aim very high at the moment." She began to head towards the cliffs, experimenting with balancing the glaive in her hands. She figured a short, light test swing to the side wouldn't hurt once she was well out of range of Pearl, and normally she would have been right; but, she  _ wasn't _ out of range of a nearby pile, and suddenly junk and  _ bubbles _ were falling around her. She scrambled to catch what she could, and once the miniature avalanche was over she breathed a sigh of relief when it seemed like nothing had popped. She carefully started to place the bubbles she had down...then froze.

In her hand there was a small, reddish bubble--probably Garnet's--with three tidy, distinct shards inside. It wouldn't have been anything worth noting, if she hadn't recognized the Gem and breakage pattern immediately.

It was Citrine.  _ That  _ Citrine. And Jasper couldn't help but  _ gawk. _

Pearl scrambled to avoid the falling debris, artfully avoiding the bubbles as they spilled around her feet. Jasper’s pause confused her, and she almost said something—perhaps accusatory, perhaps questioning the care she put into depositing them all on the ground, one by one—when she saw which bubble was in the bigger Gem’s hand. Her breath caught and she froze, blue eyes going wide and round.

Citrine.

Jasper’s haunted gaze hurt her heart, and she worried her bottom lip briefly, before blurting out, “She was from Beta, but she emerged early. We found her before Homeworld did. Garnet found her shards after the war was over.” Pearl looked down at the bubbles around her feet, almost all of which had complete Gems inside. “We tried to get all of the pieces into the same bubble.”

"I know," she said quietly, almost in a  _ whisper, _ in response to the little yellow Gem's origins. Citrine hadn't said anything during the interrogation, but she didn't have to. A runt of a quartz falling anywhere from red to yellow in the color spectrum  _ had _ to have come from Beta. It was pretty obvious at the time.

She frowned in confusion at the mention of who bubbled her shards. More specifically, it was the fact that the statement only seemed to apply to Citrine that troubled her. It could have just been because she was the focus of the conversation. It would have been odd if the Crystal Gems had only discovered  _ one _ of their fallen comrades in the crevice of the room she'd nearly forgotten about until just then. They had all been stashed  _ together. _

Then again, it was a dark alcove. Hard to reach around in. And if someone had just been grabbing what they could easily feel during the rush to escape Earth before the Final Strike...maybe the others had been taken.

She shouldn't have said anything. She  _ knew _ it would raise too many other questions. But even though the remains of the Gem who had been the primary target of protection were indeed safe, she couldn't help but wonder about the others.

"How many others did she find with her?" She looked back down at the Garnet-made bubble in her hand, with a look that was almost solemn. "There should have been five," she mumbled, and paused to carefully go over their identities in her head before she recited their names aloud. She'd interrogated and/or shattered countless Gems during the war, but that particular group...with the circumstances around them, they were all too easy to recall. "Emerald, Marble, Granite, Slate, and... _ her." _

Names that were all too familiar tumbled from Jasper’s lips, and if Pearl had blood it would have run colder than glacial ice. Her heart, certainly, stopped cold in her chest, and she stared at Jasper for several moments. Granite and Slate’s Gems had been the most difficult to differentiate of the shards they found, too similar in color and texture to really puzzle together which crumbled pieces belonged to which Gem.

“All five,” Pearl said automatically, only after her voice came back to her. “Their shards were scattered in an alcove together, and it was difficult to find the pieces, but—“

But why did  _ Jasper _ know those Gems? Their shards had been hidden in a base belonging to a notorious faction of Gems who even many Homeworld forces found unsavory, due to their horrific practices. To know where the shards were, and that they were together, Jasper would had to have  _ been _ there.

The Crystal Gem stared at her, and when she managed to speak again, her voice was dangerously low. “Why do  _ you _ know their names?”

That tone was, without a doubt,  _ the _ single most terrifying thing she had heard in  _ millenia. _ It didn't help that the din from distant monsters  _ just so happened _ to mostly fade in that very same moment, making for a sharp contrast between her words and the near-silence in the background. At first she didn't look up,  _ couldn't _ look up; every muscle in her body had tensed to the point where it might have hurt if her mind weren't so focused on raw  _ fear _ .

In retrospect, she really,  _ really _ should have thrown in a few key details before relating any of that. But it was already done, and now Jasper had to figure out a way to do damage control without taking too long to  _ explain _ . She wasn't sure if Pearl was the type to get impatient when it came to dire matters such as this, and she really, REALLY had no intention of  _ ever _ finding out.

"I-I, I..." she stuttered, actually  _ stuttered, _ and took a shaky step back as she forced herself to lift her head and meet Pearl's eyes. And oh,  _ that _ was a grievous mistake. She couldn't blame her, not really. She knew exactly what she had just implied, knew exactly  _ where _ they would have found those shards, and to be perfectly honest if she were in her position she might have attacked already, pressed a sword or glaive or  _ something _ from the seemingly infinite piles to her enemy's throat and  _ demanded _ answers post-haste. Even without Pearl doing anything like that, she found herself very, very slightly  _ trembling _ as she forced herself to spit out words.

"I hid them, I was trying to  _ hide _ them, I swear I--" She was interrupted when another attempt at a step back had her tripping and stumbling back into a pile, "--I-I was Level 2! Uh, ah..." That wouldn't suffice, that wasn't going to work, she wasn't sure if Pearl even knew what that meant, and if she did she was sure it was going to be much harder to convince her. "You--you called us Turncoats,  _ Hijackers," _ she sputtered next, hoping that the lesser-known name would help, because if it didn't she honestly had  _ no idea _ what Pearl would do, and oh, that's right,  _ her form couldn't be dissipated right now. _ "I was hiding her from Tektite, the other shards were there when I went to take hers and she would have  _ known _ it was me if Citrine’s were the only ones missing, that's all!"

It was luck that stayed Pearl’s hand long enough for Jasper to splutter out an explanation. She’d gone stock still, and her face was a veritable mask of stony fury. She’d stopped breathing as she waited for something, some  _ reason _ not to tear Jasper apart. That she couldn’t dissipate her form right now didn’t matter; there were worse things, and being personally responsible for the torture of at least five Crystal Gems, Gems she’d known personally,  _ especially _ Citrine and Granite—

There was the Terrifying Renegade, just barely under the surface, beneath softness that came from living in a world at peace.

Jasper’s excuses wouldn’t get her far; Level 2 meant almost nothing to her, save the distant memory of a Chalcedony who had defected early.  _ Turncoats, Hijackers _ — these gave her pause, but not enough until Jasper mentioned exactly which Gem she had been working against.

_ Tektite of General Moldavite’s Specials. _

Pearl’s dead stare flicked down to the bubble, to Citrine’s remains, forever broken and incomplete. There wasn’t enough for Rose to bring back; fissures and cracks she could heal, but once a Gem was broken apart, that was the point of no return. They’d tried a few times, with other Gems, on the battlefield. It never ended well.

When she did look up again, the muscles around her mouth had softened, and her glare was all but gone.

“Alright,” she said, and the burden of surviving where her comrades hadn’t made her voice weigh more than her small shoulders should have been able to bear. Pearl blinked rapidly against tears she knew she didn’t have time for, then looked away. “I believe you, Jasper.”

Jasper nearly doubled over when she let out a loud, gasping sigh of relief, tension gone but leaving her far too shaky to properly stand. Using the pile behind her to lean against she slowly, carefully sat down on the ground, and shuddered as the reality of her narrowly escaping...who  _ knew _ what sank in further. She tore her eyes from Pearl, focusing instead on the bubble containing the little Gem's remains.

"They were all ours," she said in a shaky, almost whispering breath. "I don't remember who took on which Gem, but  _ none _ of them were given to a Special. I can promise you that.” She felt it was important to clarify their fates. The Specials were so vile, so dishonorable, that even the most loyal of Homeworld soldiers would have scrambled to save Crystal Gems from their grip. And that’s exactly what Level 2 did. They were regular quartzes, forced for work alongside the elites General Moldavite had forged into her own grotesque little army. As much as they hated the rebels, they hated the Specials  _ more, _ as many Gems did. It was a well-known secret among other soldiers and the Crystal Gems themselves that Level 2 took as many prisoners from them as they could. It was how they earned their first nickname:  _ Hijackers, _ for all the interrogations they gladly took off the Specials’ hands. Then later,  _ Turncoats, _ for how many were inspired by the horrors they saw to become rebels themselves.

 

“I..." Gulp, and she took a deep breath. She might as well be truthful, here. It might help further push Pearl to have faith in her words. "I did interrogate Citrine. She was supposed to go to Tektite. I couldn't...I  _ knew _ she was from Beta, I knew that if it weren't for the war..." She didn't finish that sentence. There was really no point in going down that road at the moment. "I couldn't let it happen. She was--she was so  _ small. _ She would have made  _ Peridot _ look mighty by comparison  _ without _ her limb enhancers." She paused then, carefully turning the bubble around in her hands, the bubble containing her own Gem placed next to her on the ground. Just like before when she had her little meltdown, she couldn't fathom  _ why _ she was being as open about her emotions as she was. In this case, at least, there was some sense of duty, of Pearl  _ deserving _ to know the whole story. She would have wanted Pearl to grant her the same consideration.

"It wasn't easy. You wouldn't  _ believe _ the fit I had to throw. I'd never seen her so desperate to get her hands on a Gem before. If I hadn't been there to take over..." she shuddered slightly and shook her head as phrases like  _ Oh, how pretty she must be when she cries _ and  _ I hope she's resilient; I don't want her to break before I'm done _ and  _ I have  _ so much _ planned _ played in her mind. It was always hard knowing they couldn't possibly save  _ all _ of their enemies from the Specials, but Citrine would have been an extra crushing blow.

"As I said, I did interrogate her using  _ acceptable _ methods. I went easy on her if I'm being honest. She didn't give me anything. ...Except,  _ heh," _ her shoulders actually jumped a bit when she huffed out that little laugh, "she decked me right in the eye when I removed her restraints afterwards. It wouldn't stop twitching until the next time I reformed." She brought up a hand to absently rub at said eye, more out of the memory of the incident than anything. Then, her shoulders slumped and the slight, brief bit of humor in her voice was gone. "Tektite insisted she get her after I was done. She said she never killed such a tiny, pretty quartz before. She...wanted to know what it  _ felt _ like."

 

The words had sickened her then, and they made her gut churn even now. It was one thing to applaud taking out enemies in the heat of battle. It was one thing to celebrate surviving, to take pride in one’s ability to beat a foe into the ground. But the things Tektite wanted to do...Jasper could never be so cruel. Not even to that defective Amethyst, as much as she enjoyed taking her down. Not even to Rose Quartz herself.

She paused again, this time to run her hand through her hair as she took another deep breath. This wasn't an easy story to tell, especially since she'd never told it to anyone before. "I told her...Citrine, I told her to go to sleep after I untied her. So she wouldn't feel a thing. She didn't. She didn't even  _ twitch _ when I...she never felt a thing. I made sure of it. I told Tektite I 'accidentally' shattered her during interrogation. She was furious. She wanted to at  _ least _ get her hands on her shards. I couldn't allow it. I had to do  _ something." _

Pearl listened, and any doubts she might have harbored about Jasper’s legitimacy were gone in an instant. No one joked about the Specials, not with this kind of sincerity. Her stomach knotted, and her eyes were wet. She remembered Citrine well. Good with a scimitar and light on her feet, she’d been a wonderful student. She lacked the strength quartzes were renowned for, but she had all the stubbornness, and she remembered long weeks of her fighting to summon  _ anything _ before Bismuth had given her a material blade to fight with—treated to flash gold in the sunlight, to match her bright hair and skin.

She remembered Citrine laughing about how she would punch them all, even after she’d mastered her corporeal weapon.

Pearl couldn’t help crying a little at the memory, and Jasper’s words…helped, in their way. It removed questions she hadn’t ever thought she’d have answers for from the many, many lists she kept neatly tucked away in her mind. Citrine had gone peacefully, and that…that mattered.

She said nothing as she tried to wipe her cool tears with her shoulders, unwilling to put her swords aside. Now wasn’t the time. It never was.

“Thank you,” Pearl managed shakily, but she met her tentative ally’s gaze. “We…we knew about the Turncoats. We had some on our side outright. I’m glad she met a painless end, with a friend.” She drew in an unsteady breath, tears still stubbornly trickling down her cheeks, and Pearl shook her head to try to clear her thoughts. Quiet monsters were never a good sign, and distracted, she might not be able to fight. She knew that was paramount.

She wasn’t about to lose Jasper after hearing all  _ that. _

“Come on, Jasper,” she urged, almost pleadingly. “We need to get to the heart.”

She looked surprised and maybe even a little awed when Pearl thanked her. She supposed it did make sense, though she wouldn't have blamed her if she had shown some resentment or anger. She was still directly responsible for Citrine's interrogation and execution, after all.

It was equally strange to hear those three words-- _ with a friend _ \--coming from Pearl's lips, and something in her...jumped a bit, almost fluttered. She had to swallow around a thick lump that was suddenly in her throat, and couldn't bring herself to do anything more than just  _ stare _ with physically and emotionally  _ exhausted _ eyes, up until the other Gem was asking her to come along.

"Right," she said in a shaky mumble as she nodded numbly, almost mechanically. Once she was standing, she turned to face the pile the bubbles had fallen from. For a short moment she looked it up and down, carefully studied the base, and then, gently as she could, placed Citrine's bubble under a miniature alcove created by a small metal box. There was no way to  _ guarantee _ the bubbles would remain undisturbed, but in this one instance, she felt it was important to take extra precautions. She then picked up her own bubble and the glaive, turned back to face Pearl, and began to walk in the direction of the cliffs.


End file.
